The Universe always surprises us. That is one of the wonderful things about being alive. We never know how Life will shift and change.
All these years I have written about the Laws of Success, and integrated the Law of Attraction into it. My journey has given me adventures and challenges I never would have anticipated. There is always something new to learn and grow into. Therefore Life is never boring!
Last year I wrote how I got the dreams of my life, and they were beyond what I could imagine.
Now I want to tell you that it has taken a lot of time and energy to grow into that life that I was given, and it wasn’t all fun. There has been sweat, sleepless nights, illness, depression, and long periods of unease as I had to enlarge my capacity to live within the life I had created.
I could tell you all the details, but that would be another book. But here are a few highlights. My book has stalled. I needed some technical expertise, but the most important thing, is that I needed to grow much thicker skin. Whenever an author puts something out into the world, you receive feedback. I needed to get to a strong enough place inside myself to weather what people have will have to say about it, pro and con.
I had to learn to be a much better writer. I thought I was good, but the truth is, I had to become much better. I needed to hear what other people had to say about the book and refine it, especially where people didn’t understand what I was saying or where I had taken too big a leap, and I had to give the reader time to catch up with me.
In my personal life, I live in a condominium community where doctors, attorneys, health professionals, and other walks of life, come together and make shared decisions about our buildings, our pets, lead paint, sidewalks, etc. That sounds really ideal – right? I love this community, but I have never worked so hard at communicating in my life. It is intense, everyone has strong opinions and want to be heard and included. I spent much of the last nine months as a renter observing, noting the wonderful things about the community but not participating at great depth.
I thought I knew a great deal, that I had many professional skills to look at the process of how we work. I thought what I had to offer would be very helpful to where I live, and that people would be glad to hear what I had to share. Not!
Anytime you try to make a joint decision that involves some 35 homes and over 80 people, let me tell you, it is not a piece of cake. I just spent 12 days, full time, day and many sleepless nights, just working on trying to educate our whole community to a hazard to our children. I felt like I was walking through a swamp of aligators.
These are good people, with good intentions, carrying the intent to have a good community in which to live. That’s what I asked for, remember?
I got the community I asked for and more. What I am learning, is how easy it is to be misunderstood. How circuitous communication needs to be to keep including everyone. It is like making a loop, and another loop, and another loop to have someway to keep us all reasonably on the same page.
And when it doesn’t work, there are lots of responses. I am finding for myself, that in the intensity of the moments, and in the serendipitous and spontaneous encounters on the paths, in the laundry room, at our weekly community meals, that I cannot always bring my best self to the encounter. In fact, some of my more unsavory characteristics show. And they show very publicly.
I have to keep making a decision to be visible, have my humaness, in all of its warts and undesired facial hair, be seen by people I admire and respect. Then I have to trust that those same people will not make a split judgement and write me off forever, because I made a mistake, or was intense, and did not speak clearly. This is the most complex living I have ever experienced. I constantly feel like I am living out at my farthest growing edge, and it is not easy or fun. But I am expanding and growing, uncomfortable as it is.
And if that wasn’t enough, I have blundered a number of times. I have chosen to publicly apologize for how I have responded in a crisis. My pride just keeps taking hits. I constantly have to keep making the decision that my caring for my neighbors and those relationships is far more important than my pride. Have I told you I absolutely deplore apologizing and making amends?
I was walking with someone, making amends yesterday, and I said. “I pulled out my vision board from the first of 2013, and see that I am getting just exactly what I asked for. I asked to accept the humanness of the human condition, and my own humanness this year, and I am getting it in spades. I’m getting really cautious about asking for what I want, because the Universe gives it to me, and then I have to deal with it. It is like my soul just say “Hallelujah, she just opened herself to this growth, let’s go for it.””
I was sick for two months. I just was only able to lay in bed and not think much, because it was taking all my energy to heal. I had no clue as to why I was sick.
Now I feel like I have stepped out of a cocoon of isolation, and the world I have stepped into is a new one, and I have new eyes with which to see, and new ways of perceiving, and new ways of understanding.
Everywhere I look, there are people undergoing some kind of transformation. It is a very wild ride. Mine certainly has been.
I was told many years ago, that the years 2010 – 2015 would be difficult years. We as a world are making a huge shift. I believe, it is one where we are unearthing the behaviors and beliefs that are not helpful, so that we may truly live more peacefully, harmoniously, and abundantly as a planet. I pray that all of us receive the support, strength, wisdom and understanding to grow and learn through these times.