Years ago I spent a great deal of money to learn how to buy commercial real estate with the intention of setting up a life long stream of passive income. I took an online course and went to a huge seminar in Las Vegas and one in Orlando, and I took my daughter with me. We learned so much. But I was scared to try. My daughter got furious that I would not attempt it. What got in my way? I knew exactly.
Scott who was teaching these courses radiated complete authority and self-confidence. To buy real estate involved presenting the idea to people who could finance the deals. I knew I could not radiate the same amount of confidence that Scott did. So I didn’t even try.
Earlier this year, two women journalists wrote an article in Atlantic Magazine called the Confidence Gap. In their 2014 book The Confidence Code, Kay and Shipman went looking for confidence and found a gap between men and women. I was struck by their story of visiting an all-woman basketball team and finding that women players had confidence issues. Their coach said the the biggest psychological impediments for female players – which directly affects performance and confidence on the court – is the propensity women players have to dwell on failure and mistakes, and the inability to shut out the outside world. Mike Thibeault, their coach said “There’s probably a distinction between being tough on themselves and too judgmental. The best male players I’ve coached, whether it’s Jordan or people like that, they are tough on themselves. But they also have an ability to get restarted more quickly. They don’t let setbacks linger as long. And the women can.”
But its not just women who have confidence issues. Dr. Robert Anthony wrote The Ultimate Secrets of Total Self-Confidence published in 1979. His first secret is to de-hypnotize yourself from all the mistaken beliefs and insecurities we took on from our parents, teachers, religious leaders that tell us we are less than others. Anthony’s book gives us an excellent description of how that hypnotic trance has left many of us in powerlessness because we accepted these ideas as truth.
Napoleon Hill thought that the most important key to success was building a positive mental attitude. I think that part of what he meant by that was your mindset is important to be able to take action – to surge forth in self confidence.
I think self-confidence is the state of knowing that you can do whatever you have set as your goal. You can take action from this state of knowing, and the universe moves forward and matches you.
Your state of being is so important. See other entries about states of being.
So here’s the deal. Most of us have places where we feel inferior, where we feel less than, and our self feels very valueless. This is not a state from which we can operate and have the universe cooperate with us, except to give us more experiences of feeling inferior and less than.
Self Confidence is necessary for success. It is vital for you to contribute in your world. I will explore more about Confidence. In the meantime, know that you are a Beloved of the Universe and the force that creates worlds wants you to be able to co-create your life and your world.