Do you stop Success with “I Can’t Because” Thinking?
Do you stop success with “I can’t because” thinking? I have. Repeatedly. I watch other people stop their success because the say “I can’t.”
I can’t because I am too busy.
I can’t because I am too tired.
I can’t because I don’t have enough time.
I can’t because I don’t have enough money.
I can’t because I don’t have the opportunities of others.
I can’t because I am afraid people won’t like me.
I can’t because I will be too visible.
I can’t because I don’t have the skills.
I can’t because I don’t know how.
I can’t because I don’t have the talent.
I can’t because I don’t have the contacts necessary
I can’t because I don’t know how to “sell.”
I can’t because I am a professional.
I can’t because I don’t have enough education.
I can’t because I don’t have organizational skills.
I can’t because I don’t know how to start and run a business.
I can’t because I don’t have the start up costs.
I can’t because I don’t have enough confidence.
I can’t because I don’t trust myself.
I can’t because I don’t trust the Universe to provide with opportunity, people, and anything else I need.
I can’t because I don’t have enough experience.
I can’t because I am not old enough.
I can’t because I am too old.
Shall I go on?
When you utter the words “I can’t.” you absolutely shut the door to success. Success is now impossibility. There is no way forward from the position of I can’t.
I have seen people I love and respect absolutely stop progress forward with that sentence, which they believe wholeheartedly. When you believe it that fundamentally, you never ask another question, you never move anywhere. Essentially you have placed your feet in concrete and it has dried, anchoring you where you are.
Sometimes you don’t say it to your self, or to others, but it is implied in your behavior. This came home to me recently. A self improvement program that I was listening to suggested I be very specific about what I wanted money for. Then it asked me to figure how much money I needed.
I spent 65 years having written out goals and but never attaching a dollar figure to it. When I did, I suddenly said, that is doable. I know people in my life who make that amount of money. I can too. I wanted to visit my children 3 times a year and pay all my own costs for hotel, flights, taxies and meals. I wanted to visit family and friends that I care about without worrying about fund.
Within one month, I made travel plans to visit friends in Oregon, and my daughter begged me repeatedly to come visit her. When I bought the tickets, I felt like a million bucks. And this was in a month when I had a huge unexpected cost, I was about to retreat into “I can’t make it through this month because I don’t have enough money”
Suddenly I said to myself. “Same old thinking. What if? What if I decided to say instead, “how can I receive more money?”
Within two days I had four jobs that gave me more expendable income than I had had the prior couple of months. Before I received those jobs, I made the decision to visit a friend about five hours south of me. I talked to her, looked up the train fare, and got a deal round trip for half price. I purchased the tickets, and didn’t worry. Then the jobs came in.
Then my daughter begged me to come, and I opened to the possibility of planning a trip to see her. She wanted me to come for a week!
In my prior mindset, I thought of myself on a restricted income which did not allow me the freedom to plan a vacation or a visit to my children unless special circumstances happened. It was a much more subtle version of “I can’t.” I am astounded to look back at this month which I thought was originally severely restricted in funds, and see that I have met all my needs, and had more than enough surplus. I had the money to buy the tickets at times when costs were significantly lower. I had more than enough money to hostess my brother and sister-in-law when they came for a visit earlier this week.
I was busier than I have been in a long time. I got healthier, my energy was enhanced, and I contributed more to my community. Today I am about to leave on that trip to see friends tomorrow and I have a presentation to make tonight. Lots to do. A great opportunity to say “I can’t write this blog entry because I don’t have enough time. But the truth is that writing enriches me. So I chose to write.
There’s a secret to turning this “I can’t” around. You begin to ask “I wonder” instead.
We are living in a powerful time. It is intense. It is fast paced. It is challenging. But it holds immense ripeness for us to make internals shifts of our thinking. We are being called to rise to our very best, and there is support for us to make these transformations. You definitely won’t do it, if you say “I can’t.”
I wonder how I can rise to my best in this really uncomfortable situation? I’d really like to get revenge for being treated with such disrespect. What other options might there be? I wonder how I could use my anger to make forward action with wisdom?
Reality completely shifts in that moment. You suddenly have access to a much broader field of possibilities. Inspiration will come to you. Angels will brush your thought.
You don’t need to process long and hard, all you need to do is ask “I wonder how I can do this differently?” I guarantee the Universe will meet you and support you if you ask for guidance and support.