Law of Success: The Untold Secrets

Law of Success:  The Untold Secrets

Archive for March, 2014

Caring and Consideration are important to Success

Monday, March 31st, 2014

Care and Consideration

Success and caring are an important team. Many of us in western cultures have not been taught how to care and be considerate. Caring and consideration is not niceness or pleasing other people. Caring means to consider someone else while you consider yourself and your own needs. It means that you must count yourself as important and you count others as well.

None of us accomplish success in a vacuum that does not include other people. No matter what, we live in a world that is peopled by others.

Caring for Ourselves

The paradox is that we have often not been taught to care for ourselves; therefore caring for others becomes secondary to us. We cannot truly care for other people unless we care for ourselves. There is a trend in the Law of Attraction field that talks about being selfish, putting your own needs first. It is my thought that we are instructed to be selfish – so that we learn to care for ourselves, determine what our needs and wants are and to go for them. But this does not mean to disregard others.

What it means, is that we have been socialized to devalue ourselves and not care for ourselves.  Because many of us have been trained to think that we don’t count, we are the walking wounded in the world. We walk around on empty and look for others fill up our tank. Others can’t fill us up. As adults we have to do this.

We do that first by caring for ourselves.  To care for ourselves means to come to know the unique individual that we are and cherish this individual we call “me.”

It is important to come to know yourself, acknowledge what you are thinking and feeling, and what your hopes and dreams are, and to move towards those dreams. To do so satisfies your basic need to create and be alive.

When you care about yourself and treat yourself as you would some you hold with special esteem, your inner tank begins to fill up, and then you have the capacity to see beyond “me.”

 

Caring for Others

We must never forget that we live in a field of energy, a field of all creation. That field holds many others: planets, plants, animals, water, forests, oceans, all forms of living things, and particularly people. Whatever we do or say has impact on everything around us. If you want to be successful, you must learn that you have impact on the world around you.

Hopefully, you will understand that caring about others and caring about your impact is vital to yourself.

Do you like it when others don’t consider you and your needs? Do you like it when others think of you as an object to move around on a chessboard to meet their objectives? How does it feel when you know that you are not seen as the total person you are, but the job you do as an employee? Does your dander arise when you are not respected? Do you get angry when others don’t want to hear your ideas, your opinions, and your thoughts? So it feels to others when we do not see them, listen and value them.

The “I Count, You Count, We Count” Equation

We are born in relationship to others. We humans cannot survive as infants without others to care for us. Somewhere in our growing up to adults, though, we forget that relationship is part of the human condition.

In a perfect world, we would know that “I count.” We would know that “you count.” We would also know that our relationship is its own entity and the “we count” is one way to acknowledge that. If I had known that early in my younger life, my first marriage would have been very different.  There is an I, there is a you and there is an ‘us’ or a ‘we.’

Basic considerateness is a way to demonstrate to a person that ‘I count’ and that ‘you count’ to them. It is a basic need we humans have. You want to count (to be respected, cared about) and I want to count. When we are treated with disrespect and uncaringly, we each tend to get mad or sad. The basic need to be respected for being a human being is very important.

Empty and full tanks

If we cared enough about ourselves, we would be full naturally, because we would respect ourselves and attend to our needs and wants in life. Because many of us don’t know how to care for ourselves, we don’t attend to ourselves; we don’t get enough sleep, really good food, time for play and pleasure, time with people we care about, laughter, learning and all the basics that attend to our body, mind, feelings, and spirit. Women especially are trained to say “I don’t count.”

So we tend to look to others to give us what we need. We want our bosses to appreciate us, reward us, we want our parent’s approval, we want our friends to love us, we want others to prepare our food and wash our clothes. We want our romantic partner to think that the sun rises and sets in us. We want our children to really appreciate everything we do for them.  In these scenarios we are not valuing ourselves. Our need is so great it is as though we want to become the center of everyone’s universe so that our needs get met.

If there was only one person in the universe, that might work.

Caring establishes a flow of energy.

Here’s the thing. Caring establishes a flow of energy to and from each of us. When we are on empty, the energy is only flowing one way, and most people around us get resentful. We are taking, and they are giving.

If everyone is the center of their own universe (which actually is a truth), and everyone is on emotional empty, needing everything from others, there is no natural flow. Look at how you light up when someone gives you a genuine caring smile and really sees you. You almost always give that smile back in return, and both of us are soothed, given to, and feel cared for.

Smiles are so powerful. One smile I received almost thirty years ago still gives to me whenever I think of it. It was a winter day in Minnesota, and I was rushing to an acupuncture appointment. In my haste, I stopped in the crosswalk. A mother and her young daughter had to walk out around the hood of my car. The wind was blowing strong, and I instantly felt deep shame. I was in a warm car. Those two were fighting the wind to move around the obstacle of my car. I just watched in dumb horror. The mother stared straight ahead. The young girl turned and looked directly into my eyes. When we connected, a smile with the wattage of the sun came over her face. She saw me. She blessed me with her smile. She cared that I was in pain. She forgave me for stopping in her path. Even now I want to weep from the grace that young girl bestowed upon me.  That is an example of caring. She saw me. I saw her. We connected even though we were strangers.

That is an example of the flow of energy between two people who see each other and choose to care. Each feels nourished and given to. We each have added juice to our battery.  That is the great gift of Caring. You cannot care without both giving and receiving. As we receive and give, our tanks get fuller and fuller.

Caring is a choice

Even in my shame that winter morning, I chose to look directly into that young girl’s eyes. The different color of our skin didn’t matter. The difference of our money didn’t matter. I only realize now, that I gave to her, because I chose to look deep into her eyes and see her, even though I was deeply ashamed that my inconsiderateness had made their walk just a little more difficult. All these years I had been thinking the giving was one way.

I had been studying with a spiritual teacher for years, and she emphasized that Caring is a choice. Caring is learnable.

It took me years of learning, and I still am only a beginner at caring. So I will tell you the carrot of this story.

Caring about the Others in your life is the most powerful thing you can do. It sets up a flow of energy that is restorative to you (and to them). It enlarges the capacity of your heart and people will be drawn to you. If you are like so many of us ‘walking wounded’, by caring about your impact on another, and really valuing them, seeing them, hearing them, acknowledging them, you will receive enormously, because you will have given enormously and people respond to givingness. Being in ‘take’ energy repels people away from you. Genuinely caring attracts people to you. People will be willing to help you and support you. People flourish when they are cared for.  So the tricky thing in this carrot, is that you will receive so much more by choosing to care and be considerate than you ever could by just only being interested in what you want, and the outcome you desire.

There is so much to learn about Giving and Receiving, Counting Self and Counting Others, our Impact on others, Caring and kindness.  We’ll consider those topics in the future.

Be Sociable, Share!

This RSS feed URL is deprecated, please update. New URLs can be found in the footers at https://news.google.com/news



Houston Chronicle

Frustrated with home internet? Business-class service may be for you
Houston Chronicle
When Sam Schrade moved to a new home on the west side of Lake Houston recently, he got a surprise. The internet access he'd signed up had some serious limitations for running his business. Schrade is the owner of DNA Studios LLC, which leases remote ...




Motley Fool

What Intel's Internet of Things Chief Wants You to Know About His Business
Motley Fool
Although the bulk of chip giant Intel's (NASDAQ:INTC) revenue comes from sales of processors for personal computers and data centers, the company's smaller Internet of Things Group (IoTG) is profitable -- and it's growing. Here's what the unit does, ...

and more »



Inside INdiana Business

ClearObject Grows Product Team
Inside INdiana Business
Fishers-based ClearObject, an Internet of Things systems innovator, has named Derek Bleyle IoT product owner. He most recently served as a technical product manager for Rolls-Royce. Bleyle will oversee the various stages and define the vision of ...




Business.com

Mobile Marketing: A Recipe for Success in a Mobile-First World
Business.com
Running a business is like cooking a perfect dish: All the right ingredients have to be laid out in the right order. You have to have a good product or service, an address (physical or virtual) where you operate, well-laid-out logistics, payment ...




3 Chinese Internet Stocks I'd Buy Right Now
Fox Business
Some of the hardest-hit stocks during the recent market downturn have been China's growth stocks -- more specifically, the dot-com darlings that have fueled global investor interest in the country in recent years. Political trade-tariff rhetoric isn't ...




WIRED

Rural Kids Face an Internet 'Homework Gap.' The FCC Could Help
WIRED
Many of Garfield's students trek to internet oases such as Caine's classroom or one of the local businesses willing to host a district Wi-Fi router. Going without isn't an option. “All their work is on that computer,” Caine says, “and they need that ...

and more »



Business Insider

Business Insider's guide to the best Black Friday sales of 2018
Business Insider
Thanks to the internet, you can get a newly discounted flat screen TV on Black Friday without becoming a cautionary nightly news segment or waiting outside a Best Buy in freezing cold weather. Pick up .... Save 40% off sitewide starting November 21 ...

and more »



San Francisco Business Times

Why this former Warriors star is scoring with 'Black Santa'
San Francisco Business Times
Baron Davis grew up watching his aunt and grandmother collect figurines of black Santa Clauses, but when Davis typed "black Santa" into an Internet search about six years ago, he found most of the results had negative connotations. The discovery led ...




INSIDER

A teacher in Georgia is considering leaving her job to sell lesson plans on an internet marketplace where she can ...
INSIDER
An Atlanta teacher is considering leaving her job for an educational product-based website where she made $11,000 from lesson plan materials in just one month. Emma Oliver, a 28-year-old middle school mathematics teacher at Wesley International ...

and more »



Jakarta Post

First Media stops sale of Bolt internet service amid uncertainty
Jakarta Post
PT First Media, the parent company of mobile internet provider Bolt PT Internux, has stopped the sale of the 4G LTE Bolt internet device amid uncertainty over the future of the service after the Communications and Information Ministry revoked the ...


Google News

Copyright © 2008 ofsuccesslaw.com All rights reserved.
http://ofsuccesslaw.com/ The Untold Secrets of Success