Law of Success: The Untold Secrets

Law of Success:  The Untold Secrets

Archive for the Category 'When You are Down'

What Change Are You Truly Hungry For?

Monday, February 11th, 2019

A dear friend got very intrigued about opening a frozen yogurt shop in her small town. She did the research, got her husband on board, looked for locations, and choked just before she made the complete investment in this new business, and turned to her tried and true connection, her animal friends. Her husband dreams of being a semi-truck driver because he wants the freedom from supporting the family financially. He wants to get on the road and travel. Be away from bosses, and work obligations. Neither has reached the point where they are so hungry for happiness and success that they have found a way to change.

Two of my neighbors really want to be svelte and gorgeous. They struggle with their weight and their diet. One neighbor has been in a relationship that has been on again, off again during the whole time I known her. She describes that relationship as both very supportive and very abusive. She too threw herself into the relationship with her wonderful dog, until that dog passed away. Her new dog has challenged her to the max.

My son broke up with his girlfriend in December, and she immediately started dating a male friend with whom she had been dancing in a play. In January, he got laid off by the tech company in which he had invested 60 – 80 hours weeks. He was so tired and discouraged that he needed nine months to recover physically, before he could look for a new job and a new relationship. During that time, he was able to get clear. He wanted to move from the very small town in Vermont, be in a larger place where he would have opportunities to meet new friends and new work opportunities and not see his ex-girlfriends every time he went downtown.

He was exceedingly hungry for change. It came out of the adversity of his life. It made him hungry for happiness. Hungry for a different kind of success.

It took time. He took the time to focus on his food, and lose weight. He began to change his image. Imagine a 30-something male taking time to develop a hairstyle, skin regimens, and go through his wardrobe to really look his best. It was so fun to watch. And grueling for him. There was no guarantee any of it would pay off during his nine-months of not knowing what he would do next.

He now lives in Manhattan, across the street from where he works, on a less trafficked street where there is not as much noise. That’s important because he is a one of those people who has sleep issues. He’s got a job that he got easily. It came out of his hunger for change, and taking inspired actions. His hunger for success that wouldn’t hurt him and his body propelled him into living in a new way, and it has been amazing to watch.

I too am very hungry for change. I got very sick during the last five months. Lost my autonomy. My daughter had to come live with me, drive me everywhere, do grocery shopping, cook for me, do my laundry. And that is hard on our relationship. It scared me deeply. My huge hunger for my autonomy has propelled me to take longer and longer walks to build up my strength, and climb stairs. It has made me hungry to fix my own meals in the morning, which might be gluten free toast and eggs. It has made me hungry to really change my life core deep pattern that I have been carrying.

I was reading my September journal recently, and was blown away to see an entry where I was just so angry with so many things, and my guidance (to whom I was writing) said “well, you may just need to really experience being a victim, to really get this.” What?

My coach who has been working with me to help overcome life-long patterns and beliefs helped me identify that my core life pattern has been based on being a victim to circumstances, especially circumstances that I was born into. Circumstances that create survival and contracting. In January, my coach was asking me a really hard question. “Why are you not being able to drop this victim identification? You have cleaned up so many patterns, what is it that is still stuck?”

Grappling with that question really helped me understand how I got into this current health situation. I am a super-sensitive person. That gives me some wonderful strengths. It also makes me vulnerable to what other people think of me. Because of this I have had some really challenging times doing what is in my own best interests, and instead try to do what is expected of me. Here where I live, and with my pet-sitting clients that became particularly hard in October, when a client wanted to leave her brain-damaged husband in my care. I was able to state my concerns, but she left without getting them resolved. The result was that I needed to intervene with his family and then I got ill as a result. I was supersensitive, tried to be too nice, and didn’t take care of myself. So I created a circumstance where I got to live out once again being a victim to circumstance and learned the huge consequence to my health.

Now; from a much bigger (dragon’s eye view) perspective; I see that I got myself into a situation where I really became hungry enough to burst out of this major life identification, and I chose to get ill so that I could build the hunger deep enough to propel me past the blocks, past the reluctance to change that status quo, past all the gobbledygook that my small self throws out, and past all the resistance that would come up when I tried to change this core life issue.

Simultaneously that Universe gave me the opportunity to understand better how I got into this life-long pattern of being on the Victim, Perpetrator, Rescuer platform, where most of humanity hangs out. And how this Highly Sensitive Person Syndrome (surviving when the world overwhelms you) and my Active Alert Temperament are all related and have set up my body for this autoimmune condition I have been experiencing once again. I wrote a blog entry in 2016 called Resolve where I publicly resolve to change this core pattern and look at these temperament characteristics. That was just as I was beginning work with my coach. Finding that blog entry is another sign. Looking for Signs from the Universe is so important. Thank heavens I can finally have some larger perspective.

Because I was so hungry and driven to be able to answer my coach’s questions, I serendipitously ran across the book “The Deepest Well: Healing The Long-Term Effects of Childhood Adversity.” I needed to understand why I was having so much trouble. I like knowing. That birthed my last Post called Success and Acute Childhood Adversity.”

Knowing this research about Acute Childhood Trauma is a huge missing piece about the human condition and about my human and body condition. In the reviews on Amazon, there were a number of people who couldn’t read or listen to the book because the research did not make them hopeful, nor was there a lot of practical guidance about coping. But in the one of the five star reviews, writer and counselor Lucille Zimmerman who has done her own five years of research with this group wrote “Trauma can be the springboard that catapults people into higher and better ways of functioning than before. In spite of the pain and suffering, the trauma actually ends up giving some people an advantage in life.”

It actually can give you the huge hunger to change your life. When you are hungry to change, you can go past the barriers of self-doubt, and old ways of seeing and believing. It can give you the huge motivation to go beyond your deepest resistance.

It took me three years to get hungry enough to change my diet in a major way. I dropped sugar and alcohol, and other inflammation producing foods like dairy. And it has been pretty easy to stay on that plan, because the hunger for health and wellness was way bigger than the value of what I would get by having a piece of strawberry shortcake.

What is it that you are really hungry for? Hunger gives you a Burning Desire. Hunger gives you a Burning Goal. Your own largest self is calling you. It’s telling you what you are ready to do next. Looking for success for most of us is really looking for ways to be happy, and ways to step into our strengths and our best and largest ways of contributing. I am here to tell you that your own guidance and intuition is always there supporting you to find your way into your larger growth.

Sometimes we can’t hear the message, because our vision of ourselves has shrunk. And that might be a reason to reach out to someone like a coach who can hold the larger vision of you, help you see the bigger picture, and help you translate your hunger into an inspired action plan. We’ll talk about that in an upcoming blog. For today, you can ask the question of yourself, what is it that I am really hungry for?

Am I hungry for hope, am I hungry for the job of my dreams, and am I hungry for connection to deal with this immense loneliness that I feel inside? Am I hungry to have financial success because I am drowning in debt? Am I hungry to have the freedom to live my life the way I want, and it’s hard to be a parent, or have a partner or a family that I am having to support? Am I hungry to be healthy because I have chronic conditions like diabetes, asthma, chronic fatigue syndrome, heart conditions or something that is really debilitating my ability to enjoy my life? Am I hungry to express my creativity through art, painting, singing, sculpture, dancing, pottery, or some other way such as writing?

We are in times of change. Our hunger can tell us the direction of the change we are moving in. It can give us the powerful intention and motivation to change and be a success.

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Resolve

Monday, September 19th, 2016

This has been a year of strong transitional movement. I know a lot of people who are challenged. As these waves of energy cascade, I have had strong reactions and sometimes felt at the mercy of forces beyond my control. Yet there are huge signs of transformation.

The Kiln

This has been a wild year, painful and intense, deeply fatiguing, and finally freeing. I have been terrified that 3 people I hold dear would die. And my sweet 33 year old Melissa did die. The brother to whom I am closest in age has had a heart that has been in flutter for over 16 months. He came to visit in June, and I was grateful to see him one more time.

My own health has been compromised as my two autoimmune disorders have flared and I can’t get them settled down.

Out of all the heat in the kiln of life, I find myself resolving to find a yet new way to live. While I have been saying that my health has been a top priority this last year, my actions have been to keep pushing me just a little further, to keep keeping on because I said I would do it, or I felt compelled to get that task done. I wasn’t always the driver of my own bus (one of my inner family or emotions was- click for more info). Sometimes impatience, and a need to get something accomplished drove my bus, not my more wise patient, compassionate self.

Have you noticed there are lots of people who are being challenged? When in a time where we have no control of the outside forces we can feel hopeless. Not so in charge of my inside forces these past months, it has been a time for me to stop.

The Fire

A sequence of circumstances brought me to a standstill. It took first intense anger to propel me to an inner place where I could allow the intense anger to morph into resolve. I was preparing for a colonoscopy (which I have done many times). They are not pleasant, but I had my tried and true method to get through the preparation. This time it didn’t work. This time my body had a violent reaction to the 12 hours forced cleansing. As I began recovering, I hit pure fury at the inhumane process.

But it turns out that what was inhumane, was my continual pushing my body to perform physical tasks far beyond its capability. So the fury I felt at the medical profession was a mirror to the fury that my body felt to being forced to be a slave to my will. In my imagination, my body was acting like a dog on a leash that finally laid down and would not walk any further because it had no more energy to give.

So no matter my outside commitments or my desires to do those things, I have had to stop.

Immediate Feedback

My body has such a state of depletion that it cannot restore itself. So it is giving me signals. If this doesn’t work for me, then I bleed. If I eat the wrong food, I bleed. If I get stressed, I bleed, if I get over-tired, I bleed. In real time, within the hour, my body gives me red feedback.

When I am this depleted, I am not really giving to others, when I do something that I said I would do. I don’t have the cushion of finess when I talk. I have been at a number of committee meeting, and as I would say my truth, it shaved off their skin as my words whistled by because what I saw and said was delivered with such intensity. That’s not a give to anyone.

So I am having to say no sometimes to things I think would give to me. I had to say no to going to a 4 day training that was two states away. Too much travel and too intense a schedule, my body could not do it. Last night at the last minute, I chose not to go to Chorus practice (I love singing) because I was too tired. When I signed up for chorus this season, I told myself I would just go when I felt really good, and wouldn’t go when I don’t, and if that means I don’t sing in the final concerts, then that’s what it means.

Phoenix Rising

But there is real transformation at work in this time for me. Because I am forced with instant feedback to see what helps and what does not help, I am able to make life changing choices.

I resolved changing the things I can. I resolve to eat on an Autoimmune Food Protocol. Some people put their diseases into remission and even heal themselves. I have the will power and the resolution to stay on that plan.

Eliminating stress is another thing I can change. How? I’m taking a sabbatical from things that create stress for me. I’m re-reading a book called “How We Choose to Be Happy – The 9 choices of Extremely Happy People-their secrets, their stories.” This is a way that “truly happy people make conscious decisions about how they will confront life’s challenges. In the face of sometimes overwhelming circumstances, they create happiness by making the same nine internally driven choices.”

Summary

So I have told you about my horrible, no good awful year 🙂 (like Alexander’s No good, horrible awful day – a delightful children’s book).

I’ve told you a basic response that came out of the pain, fatigue, and feeling powerlessness.

Fury came. Fury delivered the emotional energy that I could morph into resolve.

With it the decision arrived that I will be victim no more.

And a resolve so bone deep that it seared out all the hopelessness and despair and left complete resolve that I will live my life differently no matter what the circumstances. Now that is resolution I want you to know. And although my diseases are still active, I am happy. Bone Deep happy. And I intend to stay that way no matter what.

Other Related Posts

To Flow or Not to Flow That is the Question

Victim, Perpetrator, Rescuer or Empowered?

Life Flame and the Law of Success

Control Your Attention Secret Key # 11 to the Law of Success

What Two Ingredients Put you into Flow?

Transformation (includes The Gifts of Adversity)

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What Two Ingredients Put You Into Flow?

Tuesday, February 10th, 2015

These last three months, I have not been in Flow. Before I tell you about the two special ingredients of Flow, which I am so glad I remembered I want to tell you my journey.

My consciousness has been getting more alert and I feel I can see more. Some truly spectacular things have been happening for me, and yet it has been a very jerky ride. One day things are great. The next day, or moment, things are upside down again.

Usually, when I am in the flow, my life feels magical. Reality seems to actually become pliable. This life these last three months? Not so much. Yet I have made huge strides in clarity, self-confidence, boundaries, speaking my truth, and the most wonderful thing is that I have dropped a huge amount of reactivity. I am more authentic, powerful, and straightforward. And with this empowerment a few darker areas of my consciousness came to light.

These High Octane Times
Here’s what I’m thinking. We are in times when things are shifting big time. If you can stay tuned in, tapped in, turned on to life, your awareness will expand and you see multiple dimensions of possibility.

But making this shift is a challenge. Whatever is not alive and awake comes up and grabs you and says “Wake up!” It is not fun getting those wake up calls. But the potential is phenomenal and the energy is here for us to transform exponentially. The energy will propel us forward powerfully. Of course when we hit a snag, it feels like running into a tree when we have been going 100 miles an hour.

For a while in this high octane energy field, I got lost in some depression, some nostalgia during the holidays, and having poor health for at two months.

So what did I do? I read, relaxed, tried to get well, and worked my emotional process. I got somewhat lost in the feelings, though I trusted the process and knew it would lead me forward.

Remembering at Last
This morning I was inspired to relisten to a seven minute video Vishen Lahkiani, CEO of a personal growth company called MindValley. He reminded me of those essential ingredients to the state of flow and four states of mind in his video Flow, The Paradox of Intention and Four States of Mind. I thought you might enjoy his perspective.

Four States of Mind
Vishen identifies these four states of those people who are business owners and follow the Law of Attraction. Vishen has developed this concept over a couple of years and says the Flow is the 4th step. Here is a description of each state, and the name I call them.

1. Misery or Survival

        You are completely unhappy right now –

2. Comfort of Current Reality.

        You are happy, content, but you have no vision. ‘Let’s all hang out in Bliss.’ –

3. Stress and Anxiety

        You have great dream and visions, but unhappy because they are not there yet –

4. Flow

        When you are happy now, you have a vision and are happy with the journey –

While I was working my process, I had gotten lost in the Stress and Anxiety State of Mind. And sometimes that’s just natural. I was looking at a core pattern that I want to transform. This pattern has deep roots, has operated for my lifetime, and had a very dark piece that came into being to protect an innocent child.

This journey into Stress and Anxiety was an intentional act of courage to look at a core wound I have so that I can transmute this pattern and restore my connection with “Who I really Am.” I just got bogged down in the survival vibrations along the way.

Two Ingredients to Flow
So what are the two ingredients to restore myself to Flow? According to Vishen I need to:

    Be happy now (before I reach my dream).
    Have the vision of where I am headed.

So happiness is part of the journey not the destination. This balancing of happiness right in this moment, while aspiring for something we want or are dreaming about is something Esther Hicks calls The Gap in the Law of Attraction work.

Vishen is saying “Get rid of Stress and Anxiety while you are on the journey.” And that my friends are what we are called to do right now in these times. It is not always easy, but it is incredibly fulfilling. See Journeying Through the Gap.

Ways to Stay Happy
We need to put systems in place to help us be happy along the way. Here is Vishen’s list of practices to keep ourselves happy. I link to past blog entries that are my input on these practices.

1. Meditation.

Meditate into a New State of Being
Meditate. Why?

2. Guided Visualization –

Imagination and the Law of Success
Prosperity Secret of 17 Seconds.

3. Intention Setting. Esther Hicks calls this process Segment Intending. You can set an intention for this moment, this day, this year, or this particular segment of time – like when you pick up a phone call.

Setting Daily Intention
Prosperity Secrets to Create Your Day

4. Inspirational Readings or videos:

Inspirational Practices
Personalized Inspirational Quotes
Flow or Not to Flow, That is the Question

6. Gratitude

Gratitude Inspirational Quotes
Recognize Signs the Universe Delivers

Remembering and Forgetting
So now I am reminded that I just went down the emotional scale temporarily (even if part of it was on purpose), got lost in a survival state of mind. I ‘m reminded of the practices that I can take to restore my equilibrium. Here are some resources

Survival Thinking
Raise your Vibration and Go Up the Emotional Scale
Survival and Contracting
Dreams and Survival Thinking

Vision
Dare to Dream
Vision and the Law of Success

State
Understanding Your State
Shift Your State
Meditate to a New State
Journeying through the Gap

Happiness
Law of Success Strategies
The Secret to Optimism, Success, Positive Attitude, and Being Happy

Flow
To Flow or Not to Flow, That is the Question
Flowing or Bumping

Last month I worked on my Vision Board for 2015. So I am very clear about my vision this year. I just had forgotten to be happy along the way (even though it is on my Vision Board). I’m reminding myself about ways to go back to being happy. Counting my blessing always makes me feel better.

This journey of living and becoming more conscious is a constant growing and then rebalancing process and sometimes we forget along the way. It’s just natural. And now that I’ve finished this essay, I realize that I knew all this all the time – just as you do too. We’re just human beings doing the best we can. We are constantly Remembering and Forgetting.

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Gifts of Adversity

Tuesday, July 08th, 2014

To receive the gifts of adversity, we need to turn our way of looking at the difficult situation completely upside down. Having a disease, or a severe health problem, or being limited in money, or stuck in a job you don’t like may in fact be a huge gift in disguise.

My daughter taught me this recently. She had been agonizing about the health of her horse who would get better and then another issue would emerge. After a couple of years of helping this horse and not being able to ride him, she finally had to draw a line in the sand and begin to contemplate putting the horse down. She couldn’t imagine anyone else being willing to own that horse because it was un-rideable. This severely limited her options.

Finally turning to her own inner guidance, she imagined what the horse might want for its life. Then she went to visit the horse and meditated while she was in the horse’s presence. Here’s what she learned.

1. When you look through the eyes of Source, things look very different. The horse had come into her life to help her heal a number of traumas around animals. The horse did not want to be ridden because it had such trauma around being ridden that it would rather not live than constantly be facing pain and terror.

2. We live in the context of the web of all life. We are never separate from the interconnection, no matter how alone we feel. After meditating with the horse, she realized how profoundly the horse had helped her heal and so she started researching online and found resources where horses were used for healing people in a number of settings. She had never heard about horses being utilized that way. When she connected with one of those people in that profession, they became quite interested in acquiring her horse.

3. Amazing and magical things happen when you let go your old perceptions and turn your beliefs upside down. All kind of new possibilities can flow in after you let go scarcity and contracted old ways of thinking. She literally saw 7 other horses who were in worse shape be adopted by concerned animal lovers. Hers did not get adopted until she was able to come into a whole new understanding of her relationship with her horse (and she is a conscious, ethical, concerned animal owner).

4. You turn your perspective around by asking these questions. How would Source see this situation? What if you embraced this difficulty and asked what gifts you have received in this life as a result of having this problem?

5. When you look for the gifts, you find them. Three days ago I was very frustrated by the medical options facing me regarding my health. My daughter challenged me to do what she had done. Look through the health issue through the eyes of Source and look for the gifts. I took the her challenge and began looking for the gifts. My daughter and I left MN when my finances were really smarting, and my health had deteriorated.

As a result we have moved to an area of the country that I had wanted to explore. I retired early from my occupation, and began writing about things I really cared about. Because of my health issues and finances, I settled in this state and had to look at alternative ways to support myself. While I was still ill, I took a caretaking position on a farm and met one of my closest friends here. She introduced me to other friends, and through her I found my way into a choir that I love, into a city that I love, into a community that I love, and she has taken me through a huge set of adventures enjoying the wide outdoors through her naturalist eyes.

She took me to the island that I now want to move to, and gave me the mug that says “Dwell in the Realm of Possibility.”

So in the weirdest and oddest twists of events, my money scarcity and health problem evoked a whole new life with new friends which I adore. I am happier now than I have ever been.

6. When we receive the gifts with gratitude that adversity brings, perhaps we are close to learning the lessons that the adversity provides and we may be able to graduate and move onto the next stage of growth. With looking at my health issue as an opportunity for transformation from my higher Self, I no longer feel so angry and antagonistic about my colitis. With the release of those feelings of victimization, then new possibilities are beginning to emerge. As a result of the research I did before seeing my doctor, I was knowledgeable enough to say no, I don’t want cortizones, no I don’t want immunosuppressants, what else can we consider? I was able to ask about 2 other drugs. She was able to give me some strong alternatives. (The drug I had been using was creating major side effects).

She had already worked with me as I had changed my diet (letting go wheat and dairy). Now as a result of my research, I have other alternative ways to reduce inflammation and look forward to a time when I may become drug free.

7. What if when I have symptoms in the future I cradle my abdomen and say “Thank you body, for being the instrument through which I have received the life of my dreams?” This puts me into a completely different relationship with my body, my finances, and my disease. Instead of circumstances which I feel at the mercy of, or need to push against; I cradle with gratitude and acceptance and grace, my infirmity. Now that is a mind bender. And maybe I won’t need the condition any longer for my growth, and I can move forward. Life is full of infinite possibilities. It could happen.

May you discover the wonder of the gifts you have received through these difficult times.

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To Flow or Not to Flow; That Is the Question

Saturday, June 14th, 2014

There is a parable that has served me whenever I am transitioning into something big. It goes like this.

    Along the bottom of a great crystal river lived a village of creatures who clung to the rocks and twigs to hold against the current. The water flowed with great ferocity. Tightly the creatures gripped their river bottom to hold against the flow.

Eventually one creature said, this current seems to know where it is going. I am tempted to let follow this movement. The other villagers cried, “no, no, you will be dashed and bashed against the rocks.  The only way to survive is hang on here forever.” And so the creature stayed for a while longer, struggling to control his grip against the powerful flow.

One day, in a depressed, fatigued moment, he said “if this is all there is then I choose to let go and at least die in the adventure. All I know is clinging, and gripping and resisting the momentum of this terrible current and it is not enough.” In one breath, he pried his fingers from his small rock. Immediately he was taken, rolled, and tumbled into many obstacles becoming bruised. And for many long moments, he thought ‘what have I done?’

Sweeping around the curve in the river, he became aware that he was aloft in the clear waters. Below him were other villages of creatures who noticed him, and cried “look there is one like us who flies!”

And he pondered his long life of clinging, and his life now of flying, and he was glad.

This parable from Richard Bach’s book Illusions inspired me as I moved, left a long relationship, changed jobs and cities when I was young and lived in Florida. Shall I cling to the old, or let go into the flow of the unknown and see what it reveals? That choice to let go of a life where I was not truly happy, allowed me to move into a life that held more fulfillment.

I left my profession as a private investigator and repossessor, collection agency manager, and went back to college, finished my undergrad work, worked in the Career Office of Eckerd College, and fell in love with Academia, small private schools and the community that worked together to support the education of young people. That move allowed me to also study Humanistic Psychology (which was a forerunner of transpersonal psychology), to practice Tai Chi at dawn along the bay seawall, immersed in salt air, and pelican cries as we watched the sun rise. My roommate was studying Psychosynthesis in her Master’s program, and I began my long term love affair with Roberto Assagioli and Carl Jung.

Deeply part of that three years was Rolphing and attending Laws of Life classes, Shusta, the Kaballah, Dream Analysis, Huna, Astrology, and exposure to other ancient wisdoms and esoteric philosophies such as Theosophy, taught or offered in the bookstore of The Temple of the Living God, my spiritual home.

It was the most fertile period of my life, for it held the seeds of all that I pursued for the rest of my life.

Had I held tight to what I knew at the bottom of the river as it pressed forward, I would lack so much depth and breadth.

Richard Bach’s metaphor continued(s) to help me remember the possibility of flow. With each shift of life, there would come a time, when I would become clutching and rigid again, holding to what I knew, rather than experience that majesty of drifting in the flow. And by now, I knew that to let go meant some mighty bumps and bruises before I was swept into the flow of the current.

“Am I flowing, or clutching the river bottom?” became a question I would ask as my life would continue in a cycle. Many times, I found I was clutching the river bottom.

Richard Bach became one of my internal mentors as I read Bridge Across Forever, and One. I had begun writing in my late teens. His storytelling imparts great wisdom in a compelling way. I wanted to model myself after he and his wife. I was fascinated with his way of living, perhaps in a trailer with books overflowing both sides of his bed, living with the love of his life, trying to save a forest of trees. Then later he moved from Oregon to the San Juan Islands. As I read his story, I felt those islands call to me.

It is only now in hindsight that I see the deep desire that was covered by the strong belief I could never do it. The belief was so strong that I never held living in the San Juans as a goal. Besides, I was married, had small children and lived in Minnesota when I first heard the siren call of the islands.

When I hit the stall last year, I was confused and concerned. I couldn’t lift out of it. My continued use of Psychosynthesis techniques and philosophy over my lifetime suggested that I trust the process. That I trust my process. When one is down, it is much harder to hold to higher levels of understanding, because we have shrunk in awareness, and our capacity to problem solve shrinks.

All I could do is continue to ask the question “what is going on?” When I received no answers, I had to surrender to the process. Yes, I had gotten sick, yes, my dearest brother had almost died and it terrified me, yes, I got into a brouhaha with my closest friend, and we weren’t speaking. Yes, I got into another challenging situation with the community in which I lived. Even collectively, there wasn’t a good enough reason to have taken my urge to write. I have been through many adversities. This time, I dithered. I lost some hope and eventually began to be resigned to where I was emotionally.

However I was asking for help from the universal managers, and any non-human helper that would listen.

Then my roommate brought home this exercise that she had done that had shifted her perspective immensely about someone who had done her great harm with intention. When I saw her attitude had changed in one hour from using a process called NeuroMastery, I wanted to take that class. You can read more about that story by reading Transformation is at hand.

I felt inspired at a time when little had been interesting. I followed that inspiration to act. I signed up for the class. Amazing things happened.

My daughter signed up as well. Between the exercises that I was doing every day, I realized that I had shut off a part of me. One of my dearestly held qualities is that of aliveness. Would you believe that there are a lot of places where aliveness is not treasured. Bringing the fullness of me to many situations where I live was breaking some norms. Others saw it as too emotional, too loud, to consuming, too much.

I had slowly been conforming to what others would prefer from me at cost to myself, and it had all happened under the surface without my awareness. When I realized what I had done (others did not do it to me, I had done it to myself), I had a huge aha. Immediately followed the strong decision that I was not going to give up my aliveness for anything or anyone.

As I shared this with my daughter, she said “Mom. When I saw you three months ago, I was appalled. I didn’t recognize you. You had resigned yourself to getting older and living as you were currently. I didn’t see any dreams or enthusiam for which you are know.” Resignation! As she said it, the truth of that statement resonated inside. The truth was I couldn’t even find any dreams to have. Two major ahas, back to back. They energized me. The decision to embrace my aliveness filled me with resolution.

I had been thinking I would live in this community for the rest of my life, because I love it here. But what to do with the variance between the norms of being business-like, without passion at meetings, and the exuberance I share at the top of my lungs? For the first time, I considered the possibility of living somewhere else.

Now here is how I experience my decisions about identity and where I live. It was like having little latches inside, where as I committed to living in this community, a part of me “latched” into the reality of living here, in this community and in this town. Not too dissimilar from grasping the bottom rocks of the river. Which begs the question, of “how do I live in commitment, but not in rigidity, or resignation?” But that is for another entry.

Simultaneously, the community choir that has brought me such joy changed directors. It was great at first, then later, as the concert approached we got more and more tense about our ability to perform, because we were singing incredibly difficult pieces. I don’t normally go around getting mad at stuff, but I got mad at my director and my section. I noticed that my mad was disproportionate to what stimulated them. I was reacting like crazy. To the point where another latch that I had made to this community because of the choir was unlocked. I grumbled “Choir is about singing, having joy, and this is no longer fun, just hard work.” I was mad enough, and committed enough to having joy in my life, that I wouldn’t waste time in an activity that did not give back to me in fulfillment and joy.

When I moved in with my roommate two years ago, I was in bliss because I lived with someone of like mindedness and we care about each other. When she lost her job last October pushing her into retirement far earlier that she considered, suddenly there were two adults home all day long. I noticed that I was getting cranky about not having enough space in my room. Circumstances had suddenly invited me to consider living alone. The third latch was loosened.

These synchronicities were not brought about me consciously. But there was a deeper process at work behind the scenes.

And it was at this point that I made a pivotal choice. Instead of cancelling my trip to the San Juan Islands, I would go. I was pretty grumpy, energized, and not sure where all the movement was going. There was a lot of bruising. And then when I arrived and stepped off the ferry, I felt my world sync and morph as I began to “Dwell in Possibilities“.

Every time I go to the islands, I remember my journeys through Richard Bach’s world. I don’t know where he lives now, but I think it is still in the San Juan Islands. These islands call to me. I go out to the park, and look over the waters to the mountains rising on Lummi, Orcas, Guemes and other islands.
Every time I head downtown, I crest a large hill and there before me is the Bay and the waters shimmering in the sunlight, or even fog, and my heart leaps.

As I gaze across the expanse of water, my energy flows, lifts, and expands. What would it be like to live closer?

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Take Tiny Steps When You Are Bogged Down

Tuesday, December 31st, 2013

Take tiny steps when you are bogged down. Any path to success incudes detours, getting lost, periods of overwhelm and other set backs. That’s part of life. Your job is to figure out what to do when you get mired down.

One of the easiest strategies for success at this point, is to take tiny, tiny action steps. Take a time out from judging yourself. These tiny steps need to be very easy to do.

A friend just asked for help to get her bedroom cleaned up. She took two little tiny steps. She talked with a friend about her desire to clean her room. For years she had been unable to clean. Later she revealed that she had gone to therapy and many doctors trying to find out why she had such a low energy level. A low level of vitamin B 12 had kept her exhausted for years. Now she could address the room, but she was in overwhelm.

Picking up the phone to call me was a second small action step. She had to face down her shame, make a decision to ask for help, and gather the courage to let someone else see her room. So those were bigger chunks, but dialing my phone number was a tiny step that she could do.

She was very smart. She told me from past experience she could only work an hour and a half, then we would need to clean up the disorder we would make while we were organizing. Brilliant.  She suggested we do two days back to back with that schedule.

It worked. We got an amazing amount done in those four hours. She has her room back, though not done, it has so significantly improved, that she is full of hope.

During this year of 2013, every single person who is a part of my personal support system had gone through some major ordeal; illness of a parent, death of a step-parent, death of a parent, termination from a job, decision to leave a job, moving a recacitrant partner off one’s property, major surgery, a cancer scare. Me, I have just been sad, lonely, and sick a lot. Yep. I too get discouraged.

I’ve seen people in a lot of stress this past year. I saw people who were discouraged and had lost their resilience to cope. Taking a very tiny easy step once, then another time, and then another time is a strategy for when you have very low energy and enthusiasm.

The Universe comes to support you when you do this. When my roommate lost her job, I went with her for moral support to visit some social service agencies. While I was there, I asked a question for myself, and got given many leads for advice and free consultations about figuring out health care coverage. The choices were bewildering, but with one very tiny step each time, I made it through the maze and came out receiving help that I had not imagined was available.

I needed to update my site here. When my daughter asked me on a recent visit how I was, I told her how stuck I felt with some technology issues. She volunteered to update my site as a thank you for all the pruning I had done for her.

That progress has opened the door to revamping this web site. So I chose two colors I liked, and then my daughter gave me some recommendations for ways to have my site more readable by Iphones, tablets and other devices. I chose one. There are a few more decisions to make and then my daughter will upgrade. One of my favorite readers called and offered her help with marketing. I needed help, and the Universe brought it to me.

In summary, when you are stuck:

1. Make an intention to make some tiny movement forward.

2. Choose a tiny step that you can do easily. (ride with a friend to an appointment, make a telephone call, tell someone you are stuck, get up and write this article instead of just think about it)

3. Don’t be attached to the outcome. Yesterday, I was sick of my hair. It needed to be cut. I chose someone to call. They were not available (it is New Year’s Eve). I called my regular hairdresser. He called me back and made time for me today.

4. Follow the momentum of the energy. I decided to have my hair colored as well. It will help me feel better.

5. Be open to the support of the Universe. I suspect my hair dresser is coming in just for me. Getting to add color to my hair makes it worth his while.

6. Accept help as it is offered.

7. Savor progress and support that you receive.

8. Affirm that you took a tiny step and that it counted.

9. Look for another tiny step to take.

10. Repeat steps 1 through 9.

And remember that this time will pass.

Celebrate the end of this year. Choose something to let go of. I think I will let go of my melancholy. Best wishes to you.

 

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What Do We Do When We Are In Real Trouble?

Monday, September 26th, 2011

What do we need to do when we are in real trouble? Very recently a reader wrote me “I am fighting to save everything I have and need real help.” I wrote a long letter in reply, and decided there are others who are facing similar feelings. Many of us face a crisis in our life at one time or another. Having walked this path myself I know a lot. Here’s what I want to tell you.

Nothing is Impossible. No matter what the economy, no matter what the times seem to imply, miracles can happen. Appearances are also very deceiving. An absolute not to miss article is called Appearances Are Deceiving. While you may not be able to change the outside world, you certainly can change the inside world, and how you respond to events.

Having been through tight spots myself, and having lost my home through foreclosure, I know what a challenge it is. Amazing things can come out of adversity, however, unexpected gifts and outcomes. When you are in a “fight to save everything” chances are that you are in scarcity and lots of worry. Being in the state of mind of scarcity and worry brings more of the same. It cannot be otherwise. Survival and Contraction is an article that might help.

So here’s what I recommend, or what I did. I did everything I could to keep myself inspired to trust and have faith. I listened to inspiring tapes. I read uplifting books. I practiced imagery like mad. I knew that I could not afford my home and so I fixed it up and put it on the market. I imagined someone coming who could pay cash for my home. I imagined seeing my home for sale. My daughter and I would do our 17 second exercises together.

And I put everything I could into improving the appearance of my home with curb appeal, staging the home inside, and repairing anything that was broken.

When others talked to me about the condition of the housing market, quickly changed the subject, and talked to myself internally saying “Nothing is impossible. There is someone who wants to buy this particular home and they will appear soon.”

Was it easy? No. Did I cry occasionally? Yes. Did I persist? Yes! Here are the facts. The future will happen whether I want it or not. I can however have a huge impact on that future by how I am conducting myself today. I can help change what future occurs, and I can definitely change how I feel today going through difficulty.

I reached for inspiration and hope, no matter what appearances looked like. I practiced seeing my future the way I wanted it to turn out. Simultaneously I used everything I knew about selling a home to make that home saleable. And I continued that process through the 8 months that it was on the market. I did not listen to naysayers. I enlisted my family’s participation in both the outer work and the inner work.

I put everything thing I had into building a state of mind that moved me out of feeling like a victim, and feeling the real pinch of scarcity into a different state. I really practiced moving my attention from worry to deep breathing, and remembering who the true Source is.

I didn’t tell my friends about the foreclosure – part of that was shame, but part of it was that I didn’t know how to talk with them in such a way that I wouldn’t radiate victim and rehash a focus on “ain’t it awful.” I didn’t want to tell the story of “What a fix I am in.” I think it really helped not to focus on how difficult it was, but instead put my energy on “I am so glad that things will be getting better soon.” Make sure that you observe “the story” you are telling yourself about your life, and what you are saying to others about this time. I highly recommend that you look at the article: Tell a New Story.

I did the process of 17 seconds many many times during that stretch, and when I was in despair, I prayed. I also taught myself to Look for Signs that the Universe was supporting us.

And I persisted no matter what, at continuing to work on my state of Being. Almost everything on this website is the result of what I learned walking through a great time of difficulty.

Positive thought is important in that it raises your vibration where you can utilize the laws of success and laws of attraction. For that reason, it is essential. Optimism can be learned.

No matter what the economic times, there are people who thrive financially. There’s an article on the site about choosing not to pay attention to economic forecasts, and really paying attention to what you would like to create, Focus and the Law of Success.

Those two years was perhaps one of the most challenging of my life, and yet, I was able to live through it with hope and a degree of happiness. I did sell my home before I was evicted, and was able to reclaim the property and pay it off. Then I started a wonderful adventure which was my reward for making it through. It was also my strategy to give myself time to renew and repurpose my life. Things worked out far better than my best imagination.

When we have a lot of momentum built up over time that results in circumstances that become dire, it takes some time to turn that energy momentum around. That is the time when you have to persist the most. And really ask powerful questions of yourself. What is it I need to learn? How can I have more gratitude? What more can I appreciate about what I have now?

As I repaired my home, I had to learn to value my work, and value my energy, and really soak in appreciation for what I did accomplish, rather than look at all there was yet to do. I literally had to relearn how to live in such a way that would not perpetuate more scarcity.

Success really is an inside job. It is easy to forget. I wrote a summary blog about things that you can do when you occasionally lag or forget. called Success Strategies and when you forget at

In that article are lots of resources you can use. Especially
When You Forget
Survival and Contraction

The thing about dire circumstances is that the consequences are so high, that we are compelled to bring all of our resources to bear to solve the issues. And that is an immense gift we give ourselves. It was comfortable in my home, I didn’t have to push outside my comfort zone. When I finally was pushed to make the decision. I chose to sell, and that opened more possibilities for a fuller more joyous life that I ever dreamed was possible. You are reaping a part of the result of that decision, because I have had the time to write this blog.

I walked through my crises and now see it truly was an amazing opportunity. You too can walk through yours. Look for the signs of support, and look for the gifts that are coming now and will come from this time. You will have far more strength, focus, courage, faith, and power for having this time.

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This report reveals where teens are starting to spend their time online, and it's not Snapchat or Instagram  Business Insider

Gen Z has grown up with the internet and smartphones and spent their entire lives adapting to new technology.



5 Tips To Help You Better Sell Your Knowledge Online  Forbes

Do you have a business selling your knowledge - or thinking of starting one? Here are 5 useful tips to help you better sell your knowledge online.



Sony CEO: Consoles a 'niche market' within the games industry  Gamasutra

Sony chief exec Jim Ryan has suggested consoles now exist in a 'niche market' within the wider games industry.



While people puzzle over WeWork, niche co-working spaces continue gaining traction  TechCrunch

This week, a young, New York-based startup called Alma raised $8 million in funding to expand its “co-practicing community of therapists, coaches, and ...



Co-Working Has Become Increasingly Niche as the Market Matures  Propmodo

It's 2019, and co-working is as big as ever, projected to double in membership from just 2 years ago by 2022 based on recent statistics. As the concept of ...



Sonic has carved out a niche providing internet, despite competition from giants AT&T, Comcast  San Francisco Business Times

Dane Jasper didn't even set out to start an internet company, he just wanted to help fellow students get access to dial-up internet. Twenty-four years later, he's ...



Why It Can Be Easier To Start A Business In Mexico  Forbes

Ever think of starting a business abroad? Here's what it's like.



What Is The Netflix Effect?  Forbes

What is the Netflix Effect? It's a move towards more convenient, personalized *content*. The success of Netflix shows that consumers want products that are easy ...



Gay pilots? Muslim quarterbacks? There's a financial advisor focusing in on every niche customer  CNBC

Only 15 percent of financial advisors specialize in niche clients but they account for a third of advisor assets. A look at five niche practice areas.



How To Market Online Without Relying On Google AdWords  Forbes

Google AdWords may be the dominant force when it comes to digital marketing, but it's very possible to perform highly successful online campaigns without it.



Online store on WeChat looks to fill niche for souvenirs - Chinadaily.com.cn  Chinadaily USA

Beijing-based e-commerce firm ToGo teamed up with local travel agencies on Wednesday to launch a new online store within the WeChat platform for ...



This 19-Year-Old Entrepreneur Is Exposing the Secrets of the Billion Dollar Underground Sneaker Market  Entrepreneur

Brandon Webb has made a living by taking advantage of America's obsession with kicks. The 19 year old based in Los Angeles is the founder of Hypluxe, ...



Buy Low-Tops, Sell High-Tops: StockX Sneaker Exchange Is Worth $1 Billion  The New York Times

StockX is one of several online marketplaces that have turned resales of shoes into a big — and highly valued — business.


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