Law of Success: The Untold Secrets

Law of Success:  The Untold Secrets

Archive for the Category 'Resolve'

What Change Are You Truly Hungry For?

Monday, February 11th, 2019

A dear friend got very intrigued about opening a frozen yogurt shop in her small town. She did the research, got her husband on board, looked for locations, and choked just before she made the complete investment in this new business, and turned to her tried and true connection, her animal friends. Her husband dreams of being a semi-truck driver because he wants the freedom from supporting the family financially. He wants to get on the road and travel. Be away from bosses, and work obligations. Neither has reached the point where they are so hungry for happiness and success that they have found a way to change.

Two of my neighbors really want to be svelte and gorgeous. They struggle with their weight and their diet. One neighbor has been in a relationship that has been on again, off again during the whole time I known her. She describes that relationship as both very supportive and very abusive. She too threw herself into the relationship with her wonderful dog, until that dog passed away. Her new dog has challenged her to the max.

My son broke up with his girlfriend in December, and she immediately started dating a male friend with whom she had been dancing in a play. In January, he got laid off by the tech company in which he had invested 60 – 80 hours weeks. He was so tired and discouraged that he needed nine months to recover physically, before he could look for a new job and a new relationship. During that time, he was able to get clear. He wanted to move from the very small town in Vermont, be in a larger place where he would have opportunities to meet new friends and new work opportunities and not see his ex-girlfriends every time he went downtown.

He was exceedingly hungry for change. It came out of the adversity of his life. It made him hungry for happiness. Hungry for a different kind of success.

It took time. He took the time to focus on his food, and lose weight. He began to change his image. Imagine a 30-something male taking time to develop a hairstyle, skin regimens, and go through his wardrobe to really look his best. It was so fun to watch. And grueling for him. There was no guarantee any of it would pay off during his nine-months of not knowing what he would do next.

He now lives in Manhattan, across the street from where he works, on a less trafficked street where there is not as much noise. That’s important because he is a one of those people who has sleep issues. He’s got a job that he got easily. It came out of his hunger for change, and taking inspired actions. His hunger for success that wouldn’t hurt him and his body propelled him into living in a new way, and it has been amazing to watch.

I too am very hungry for change. I got very sick during the last five months. Lost my autonomy. My daughter had to come live with me, drive me everywhere, do grocery shopping, cook for me, do my laundry. And that is hard on our relationship. It scared me deeply. My huge hunger for my autonomy has propelled me to take longer and longer walks to build up my strength, and climb stairs. It has made me hungry to fix my own meals in the morning, which might be gluten free toast and eggs. It has made me hungry to really change my life core deep pattern that I have been carrying.

I was reading my September journal recently, and was blown away to see an entry where I was just so angry with so many things, and my guidance (to whom I was writing) said “well, you may just need to really experience being a victim, to really get this.” What?

My coach who has been working with me to help overcome life-long patterns and beliefs helped me identify that my core life pattern has been based on being a victim to circumstances, especially circumstances that I was born into. Circumstances that create survival and contracting. In January, my coach was asking me a really hard question. “Why are you not being able to drop this victim identification? You have cleaned up so many patterns, what is it that is still stuck?”

Grappling with that question really helped me understand how I got into this current health situation. I am a super-sensitive person. That gives me some wonderful strengths. It also makes me vulnerable to what other people think of me. Because of this I have had some really challenging times doing what is in my own best interests, and instead try to do what is expected of me. Here where I live, and with my pet-sitting clients that became particularly hard in October, when a client wanted to leave her brain-damaged husband in my care. I was able to state my concerns, but she left without getting them resolved. The result was that I needed to intervene with his family and then I got ill as a result. I was supersensitive, tried to be too nice, and didn’t take care of myself. So I created a circumstance where I got to live out once again being a victim to circumstance and learned the huge consequence to my health.

Now; from a much bigger (dragon’s eye view) perspective; I see that I got myself into a situation where I really became hungry enough to burst out of this major life identification, and I chose to get ill so that I could build the hunger deep enough to propel me past the blocks, past the reluctance to change that status quo, past all the gobbledygook that my small self throws out, and past all the resistance that would come up when I tried to change this core life issue.

Simultaneously that Universe gave me the opportunity to understand better how I got into this life-long pattern of being on the Victim, Perpetrator, Rescuer platform, where most of humanity hangs out. And how this Highly Sensitive Person Syndrome (surviving when the world overwhelms you) and my Active Alert Temperament are all related and have set up my body for this autoimmune condition I have been experiencing once again. I wrote a blog entry in 2016 called Resolve where I publicly resolve to change this core pattern and look at these temperament characteristics. That was just as I was beginning work with my coach. Finding that blog entry is another sign. Looking for Signs from the Universe is so important. Thank heavens I can finally have some larger perspective.

Because I was so hungry and driven to be able to answer my coach’s questions, I serendipitously ran across the book “The Deepest Well: Healing The Long-Term Effects of Childhood Adversity.” I needed to understand why I was having so much trouble. I like knowing. That birthed my last Post called Success and Acute Childhood Adversity.”

Knowing this research about Acute Childhood Trauma is a huge missing piece about the human condition and about my human and body condition. In the reviews on Amazon, there were a number of people who couldn’t read or listen to the book because the research did not make them hopeful, nor was there a lot of practical guidance about coping. But in the one of the five star reviews, writer and counselor Lucille Zimmerman who has done her own five years of research with this group wrote “Trauma can be the springboard that catapults people into higher and better ways of functioning than before. In spite of the pain and suffering, the trauma actually ends up giving some people an advantage in life.”

It actually can give you the huge hunger to change your life. When you are hungry to change, you can go past the barriers of self-doubt, and old ways of seeing and believing. It can give you the huge motivation to go beyond your deepest resistance.

It took me three years to get hungry enough to change my diet in a major way. I dropped sugar and alcohol, and other inflammation producing foods like dairy. And it has been pretty easy to stay on that plan, because the hunger for health and wellness was way bigger than the value of what I would get by having a piece of strawberry shortcake.

What is it that you are really hungry for? Hunger gives you a Burning Desire. Hunger gives you a Burning Goal. Your own largest self is calling you. It’s telling you what you are ready to do next. Looking for success for most of us is really looking for ways to be happy, and ways to step into our strengths and our best and largest ways of contributing. I am here to tell you that your own guidance and intuition is always there supporting you to find your way into your larger growth.

Sometimes we can’t hear the message, because our vision of ourselves has shrunk. And that might be a reason to reach out to someone like a coach who can hold the larger vision of you, help you see the bigger picture, and help you translate your hunger into an inspired action plan. We’ll talk about that in an upcoming blog. For today, you can ask the question of yourself, what is it that I am really hungry for?

Am I hungry for hope, am I hungry for the job of my dreams, and am I hungry for connection to deal with this immense loneliness that I feel inside? Am I hungry to have financial success because I am drowning in debt? Am I hungry to have the freedom to live my life the way I want, and it’s hard to be a parent, or have a partner or a family that I am having to support? Am I hungry to be healthy because I have chronic conditions like diabetes, asthma, chronic fatigue syndrome, heart conditions or something that is really debilitating my ability to enjoy my life? Am I hungry to express my creativity through art, painting, singing, sculpture, dancing, pottery, or some other way such as writing?

We are in times of change. Our hunger can tell us the direction of the change we are moving in. It can give us the powerful intention and motivation to change and be a success.

Be Sociable, Share!

The Secret to Creating the Impossible

Friday, July 14th, 2017

I am SO much better. To celebrate my return, I wanted to share a very simple secret to creating a reality that you want, but seems improbable. It is so simple.

All you have to really do is
know that it is possible.

This sounds too easy to be true. But it is simple, and it is true. Ah, but the however…… to know (not just believe) that it is possible: that is the conundrum. I have written about it repeatedly here on this blog. Here are steps to the creation of the impossible.

1. Be tuned in, tapped in, and turned on to your aliveness.
2. Raise your vibratory rate again, and again, and again.
3. Do your personal and spiritual growth work.
4. Trust in your own inner compass and use your intuition.
5. Connect with the best and highest of yourself.
6. Connect with the largest vision of your life.
7. Stay in flow as much as possible
8. Enjoy and delight in the present moment.
9. Know that what you desire is possible.
10.Journey through the gap between “what is currently” to the “what is of the future”.

“What?##!!” you say. “That could take a lifetime.” So it could, but what a lifetime it is! And as I have said so many times before, it is all a State of Being. Some people call it a mindset. But there is much more to it than your mind. It is your whole being, body, soul, emotions, mind, and consciousness.

A story might help. I had a health condition called colitis. (I changed the verb to past tense, did you notice). My Dad and his brother also had it. My Dad was forced to retire when in his early 40’s because he could not work.

My colitis began in my late 40’s and I was able to work. Last
fall I resolved to make my health my top priority. The autoimmune food plan that I have committed to has really made an improvement. I’ve been feeling better.

However, in my secret self, I did not believe I would ever be without this ‘disease.’ I’ve heard many stories of other people who were able to make themselves better, but inside I figured that was for other people, it couldn’t happen to me. One day something really got my attention.

I was telling my oldest brother about my condition, and he just out of the blue, said “You know don’t you, that Dad healed himself of this when he was 65?” I said no, I didn’t know that. My whole being reeled!

He continued. “You are doing the same thing, you know. You are eating only those foods that don’t create inflammation. You are eating happy meat, you are eating organically. You are fundamentally creating the same circumstance that Dad did. The other thing he did was gather some prayer warriors and ask for a healing.”

I thought to myself, “My Dad was really a lot sicker than I ever have been. If he could live with the disease that long, and then cure it when he was 65, then by golly so can I!”

And all of a sudden, healing my body of the disease became very real to me. I could now envision the possibility of being free of Colitis. The Universe has offered me some very different ways of healing it that I didn’t expect. I totaled my car in March while driving to see my daughter. My doctor offered a brand new procedure to take out my colon except for a few inches of it (no outside bag). “You would be disease free” she said.

Dying or having major surgery was not what I had in mind. But there was certain humor about the fact that I could be completely disease free in those possibilities. I passed on those options.

But now I knew it was possible to become free of this condition. And I am getting better and better and better. Sometime soon, I intend to report to you that I no longer have that condition.

When you know something CORE deep, it is so much easier to journey through the unknown of the GAP without clutching in fear or the need to figure it out.

So that’s the profound secret to changing Reality from what you have to: what you want it to be. Just this simple. Know that it is possible.

Let me hear from you. please share your story with me. You can talk to me on the Public Facebook Group called “Success Factors

Be Sociable, Share!

Victim No More

Monday, October 10th, 2016

With it the decision arrived that I will be victim no more.

“And a resolve so bone deep that it seared out all the hopelessness and despair and left complete resolve that I will live my life differently no matter what the circumstances. Now that is resolution I want you to know. And although my diseases are still active, I am happy. Bone Deep happy. And I intend to stay that way no matter what.”

That’s how my last post ended. I wrote it Sept 16, 2016. Resolve is a powerful thing. Its going to take a book to write about how I arrived at that place of resolve. But I want to share it with you. It is so important.

My food plan is going great. Rarely am I really tempted to eat something off my plan. It’s called the AutoImmune Protocol. Very interesting and great. I am eating good meat and seafood, cooked vegetables, and fruit. Anything else is no go: no dairy, no nuts, no grains, no eggs, no nightshade (like tomatoes and potatoes). Here’s what’s happening. My lung and sinus symptoms are a bit better. My colitis – just barely some incremental improvement. But I am have so much more energy I am blown away. My memory has improved significantly, very little fatigue, very little pain, and I plan to go a few more months on this plan until my body has reset it self. My goal was to reduce inflammation in my body.

I had just started on this new food plan, when I had that horrible awful no good day out of which was born this bone deep resolve. The resolve is carrying me through wild times. I have been on six pet sitting gigs, which means I have moved six times since I last wrote. And I have to carry my new foodstuffs around with me. Arrowroot powder, carob powder, olive oil, coconut oil are some things I move because I need to cook all my food. Eating out could mean I might eat something not on my plan (like sugar)!

Now I have not been a cooking person. And I’m learning to love cooking for myself. I love finding the challenge of how to have a pizza when you can’t have any of the traditional flours. It’s possible. Just look online for AIP pizza and there’s someone who has found a recipe. So I have had lots of challenges with my time, and I am staying true to my resolve.

My intuition is kicking in big-time. I decided to write a book about this journey. I have a lot of skills that are valuable, and knowledge from walking in these shoes. “Coping with autoimmune disease”s is my working title. As I have gotten excited about writing, I had this incredible thought, what if autoimmune diseases are related to people who are highly sensitive? Guess what. There’s a big correlation!!!!!!!!!!

So off I jaunted in my research, and got one of the biggest epiphanies of my adult life. Part of what Elaine Afron talks about in The Highly Sensitive Person is the arousal of the nervous systems of people who have this temperament. I have always been told “You are too much.” “You are too ‘big’ in your energy.” You laugh too loud, you cry too loud, why can’t you be steady as a rock like most people. When you come into the office, its like a whirlwind happens. You really impact people too much with who you are. Calm down, be normal, be quiet, be thoughtful.” And more of those kinds of gems (roll of the eyes). And this was never about my behavior, this was always about the personhood of me. (so it felt).

When I was working on my master’s degree in human development, I specifically targeted a population that I wanted to work with. I wanted to work with Adults who have the same temperament as I do. Back then I was studying with Linda Budd Ph.d who wrote “Living with the Active Alert Child.” These are some of the coolest people in the world (as are the highly sensitive people), but they also have some big challenges. Think Bill Clinton, Jane Fonda, and you can kind of get a feeling for what they might be like.

So both the Active Alerts and the Highly Sensitive People receive enormous amount of negative feedback both because of their behavior, and their being-ness. Each temperament claims about 20% of the population, and it will be fascinating to see if they are subsets of each other.

When I studied Active Alerts, I knew that I could get really challenged by being in groups, because I didn’t have some of the screens that lots of people do to screen out incoming stimuli. What happens when all that stimuli gets in, it just floods the body, setting the body into alert status. The world does not feel safe. Cortisol floods the system as does adrenalin, and away we go. I just had not put it together that the arousal of my everyday life was creating nervous system overload. What I called earlier – arousal. Big thing to find out.

So of course you can guess what happened, when I got this epiphany and all the excitement of seeing my whole life and my life’s work beginning to emerge. I hit overload and overwhelm. Typical of overloaded arousal. This, I am sure, is what wears down people’s immune system.

After a weekend of being in the overload soup, I remembered!!!! Once again I am feeling victimized by my own nervous system. What crap!  Literally (laughing out loud – with colitis – well that’s more information that you need on this blog).

As soon as I recognized that, I immediately calmed down and began remembering all kinds of techniques I can use to calm my system and myself down.

So I have learned an enormous amount about me, my relationship with my body has changed, and finally I see a way to find a population who wants my work and needs it desperately, and who I understand very well, so I feel I am finally moving into my own, and my own’ life purpose.  Part of it is to heal myself. Part of it is to show others that it is possible.  I have created a Facebook Group where you can chat with me called “Success Factors.” Please drop by and chat. And like this page please. We are in wonderful times of change. Let’s do it.

I will be victim no more. That’s a resolution. Wherever I feel like a victim, it shows up, and now my illness points me directly to it.

So now my illness has become my best ally. And I have no doubt and all confidence that this new path will take me to success beyond my wildest dream.

Be Sociable, Share!

Resolve

Monday, September 19th, 2016

This has been a year of strong transitional movement. I know a lot of people who are challenged. As these waves of energy cascade, I have had strong reactions and sometimes felt at the mercy of forces beyond my control. Yet there are huge signs of transformation.

The Kiln

This has been a wild year, painful and intense, deeply fatiguing, and finally freeing. I have been terrified that 3 people I hold dear would die. And my sweet 33 year old Melissa did die. The brother to whom I am closest in age has had a heart that has been in flutter for over 16 months. He came to visit in June, and I was grateful to see him one more time.

My own health has been compromised as my two autoimmune disorders have flared and I can’t get them settled down.

Out of all the heat in the kiln of life, I find myself resolving to find a yet new way to live. While I have been saying that my health has been a top priority this last year, my actions have been to keep pushing me just a little further, to keep keeping on because I said I would do it, or I felt compelled to get that task done. I wasn’t always the driver of my own bus (one of my inner family or emotions was- click for more info). Sometimes impatience, and a need to get something accomplished drove my bus, not my more wise patient, compassionate self.

Have you noticed there are lots of people who are being challenged? When in a time where we have no control of the outside forces we can feel hopeless. Not so in charge of my inside forces these past months, it has been a time for me to stop.

The Fire

A sequence of circumstances brought me to a standstill. It took first intense anger to propel me to an inner place where I could allow the intense anger to morph into resolve. I was preparing for a colonoscopy (which I have done many times). They are not pleasant, but I had my tried and true method to get through the preparation. This time it didn’t work. This time my body had a violent reaction to the 12 hours forced cleansing. As I began recovering, I hit pure fury at the inhumane process.

But it turns out that what was inhumane, was my continual pushing my body to perform physical tasks far beyond its capability. So the fury I felt at the medical profession was a mirror to the fury that my body felt to being forced to be a slave to my will. In my imagination, my body was acting like a dog on a leash that finally laid down and would not walk any further because it had no more energy to give.

So no matter my outside commitments or my desires to do those things, I have had to stop.

Immediate Feedback

My body has such a state of depletion that it cannot restore itself. So it is giving me signals. If this doesn’t work for me, then I bleed. If I eat the wrong food, I bleed. If I get stressed, I bleed, if I get over-tired, I bleed. In real time, within the hour, my body gives me red feedback.

When I am this depleted, I am not really giving to others, when I do something that I said I would do. I don’t have the cushion of finess when I talk. I have been at a number of committee meeting, and as I would say my truth, it shaved off their skin as my words whistled by because what I saw and said was delivered with such intensity. That’s not a give to anyone.

So I am having to say no sometimes to things I think would give to me. I had to say no to going to a 4 day training that was two states away. Too much travel and too intense a schedule, my body could not do it. Last night at the last minute, I chose not to go to Chorus practice (I love singing) because I was too tired. When I signed up for chorus this season, I told myself I would just go when I felt really good, and wouldn’t go when I don’t, and if that means I don’t sing in the final concerts, then that’s what it means.

Phoenix Rising

But there is real transformation at work in this time for me. Because I am forced with instant feedback to see what helps and what does not help, I am able to make life changing choices.

I resolved changing the things I can. I resolve to eat on an Autoimmune Food Protocol. Some people put their diseases into remission and even heal themselves. I have the will power and the resolution to stay on that plan.

Eliminating stress is another thing I can change. How? I’m taking a sabbatical from things that create stress for me. I’m re-reading a book called “How We Choose to Be Happy – The 9 choices of Extremely Happy People-their secrets, their stories.” This is a way that “truly happy people make conscious decisions about how they will confront life’s challenges. In the face of sometimes overwhelming circumstances, they create happiness by making the same nine internally driven choices.”

Summary

So I have told you about my horrible, no good awful year 🙂 (like Alexander’s No good, horrible awful day – a delightful children’s book).

I’ve told you a basic response that came out of the pain, fatigue, and feeling powerlessness.

Fury came. Fury delivered the emotional energy that I could morph into resolve.

With it the decision arrived that I will be victim no more.

And a resolve so bone deep that it seared out all the hopelessness and despair and left complete resolve that I will live my life differently no matter what the circumstances. Now that is resolution I want you to know. And although my diseases are still active, I am happy. Bone Deep happy. And I intend to stay that way no matter what.

Other Related Posts

To Flow or Not to Flow That is the Question

Victim, Perpetrator, Rescuer or Empowered?

Life Flame and the Law of Success

Control Your Attention Secret Key # 11 to the Law of Success

What Two Ingredients Put you into Flow?

Transformation (includes The Gifts of Adversity)

Be Sociable, Share!

























































































Interview: Michael Dorf  CelebrityAccess ENCORE














Head above water  The Signal


15 Best Niche Industries for Startups  Small Business Trends








































Niche work if you can get it  strategy+business Today






















5 Tech Startups Making Waves in 2019  Business 2 Community




























50 Online Business Ideas  Small Business Trends





Copyright © 2008 ofsuccesslaw.com All rights reserved.
http://ofsuccesslaw.com/ The Untold Secrets of Success