Law of Success: The Untold Secrets

Law of Success:  The Untold Secrets

Archive for the Category 'Law of Success'

“LAW OF SUCCESS; WHAT ARE THE UNKNOWN STEPS?”

Thursday, May 29th, 2008

Law of Success, a timeless blueprint for wealth, well-being, joy and wisdom, has been written about for centuries. This blog is my exploration of the secrets.  I started out wanting more wealth. Then I wanted the sense of fulfillment that I thought Success would bring. The States of Being that assist success are essential. As my life has shifted, Well-being became a focus. Right now Health is first and foremost. And the gem I am finding in that search is Joy and lots of choices for Happiness.  You are invited into the journey. I hope that there is some wisdom found here :). Always check for your own inner resonance.

You may click on the most recent posts.

Fully Charged?

Gifts for You

Happiness Before Success
Alignment with True Self
What Change Are You Truly Hungry For?
Success is Impacted By Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs)
Daily Meditation is Essential
Receptively Tuning In
Tuning in or Focusing
The Secret to Creating the Impossible
Victim No More
Resolve
Be Clear About What You Want: the Key to Vision Boards
What Takes Us Out Of Flow
Times Are A’ Changin
What Two Ingredients Put You Into Flow?
Vision Boards and Goal Setting
The Confidence Gap
Flowing or Bumping
Gifts of Adversity
Flow or Not to Flow; That is the Question

Dwell in Possibilities
Transformation is Happening
Caring and Consideration are
Important to Success

Take Tiny Steps When You are Bogged Down
Journeying Through The Gap
Recognizing Signs that the Universe Delivers
Victim Perpetrator Rescuer or Empowered?
Do You Stop Success with “I Can’t Because…..” Thinking?
What You Intend to Give
The Universe Always Surprises Us
Ride the Wild Dragon
A Success Story by a Reader of Law of Success
My New Book will be ready in Three Weeks
Intention and the Law of Success
Law of Success Vision Boards
Law of Success Risks
Meditation, Manifestation and the Law of Success
Ten Steps to Turn Burning Goals into Reality
Burning Goals
Meditate. Why?
Raise Your Vibration or Going Up the Emotional Scale
Law of Success when on the skids and subsequent Recovery
Vision and the Law of Success
What Do We Do When We Are In Real Trouble?
Setting Daily Intention
Burning Desire
Success Stories
Laws of Success in 13 Steps
Positivity a secret to success
Meditate into a new State of Being
Art of Connecting with the Power of Creation
New Year Resolutions & Vision Boards
Don’t Despair
Train for Success
Dare to Dream
Recognition, Acceptance, and Coordination Basics in Success
Recognize and Accept Dreams
Dreams and Survival Thinking
Law of Success Thirteen Proven Steps to Riches
Law of Success Strategies
Self Confidence and the Law of Success
Synchronicity and Success
Write It and It Will Happen
Intention
Quantum Leaps
Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT)
Shift Your State
Understanding Your State
Success Strategies & When You Forget
Appearances are Deceiving
Inspirational Practice, A Law of Success Strategy
Tell a New Story; Strategy of Law of Success
Life Flame and the Law of Success
Imagination and the Law of Success
Strengths and Success
Self Awareness
Law of Pure Potentiality

State of mind
Vibration, The Law of Attraction and the Law of Success
Holding the Question A Success Technique
The Secret Key to Law of Success #11 Control your Attention
Money and the Secret Law of Success
The Secret that was Edited Out of Think and Grow Rich
Never Give Up Hope
Survival and Contracting
Law of Attraction Success Secret
Success Secrets: Success is a state of mind

The Secret became a best seller demonstrating the law of success beyond belief. Are you aware there are more secrets behind The Secret? What are the untold secrets? “The untold Secret” is: Successful people do the things unsuccessful people won’t do, don’t do, or don’t know how to do! In the next many posts and pages the UNTOLD steps that complete some of what the Secret left out will revealed to you! Your state of Being is crucial to your success.

Have you ever wondered why some people are successful and wealthy while others — maybe even you — are not? Have you ever observed that successful people aren’t the most brilliant, the best educated, or the hardest working? Have you ever questioned how successful people think and believe, that maybe others, even you, may not think and believe right now? I’ve read and studied the law of success and the law of attraction for more than twenty five years now. Some people go on to great success.

Yet many others — using the same law of success they learned from the same sources — aren’t doing very well. Some even go into foreclosure and bankruptcy.

What’s the difference? Why do some people apply the law of success and live fulfilled and happy lives and others are fraught with poverty and failure? Yes, your unconscious beliefs do play a significant role in your success. They are not the only missing link however.

F. Scott Fitzgerald said “the rich are different from you and me”. That saying obscures the truth of the laws of success. The truth is that we are all far more similar than we are different.

Successful people have learned to apply the law of success in such a way that wealth, health and success begets more wealth, health and success.

They have learned how to apply the law of success in spite of worry, doubt, and fear.

They have learned how to apply the law of success in spite of doubting themselves sometimes and become their own best cheerleader.

They have learned how to apply the law of success by developing the courage to act and take risks in spite of being scared to act.

They have learned to apply the law of success by making careful studied choices to take as much of the risk out as possible.

They have learned to apply the law of success by fighting criticism from within and without.

They have learned to apply the law of success by dreaming really big and also taking small steps.

They have learned to apply the law of success by getting along with people and being a person whom others are willing to follow.

They have learned to apply the law of success by having congruity between who they are as a person and what they do.

They are honest, have strong values, and have a powerful faith.

They have learned to apply the law of success by visualizing success, by cultivating optimism, and by developing mental toughness.

Most importantly they have learned to apply the law of success by a utilizing a process of self mastery that respects themselves and others, develops discipline and organization, and allows them to tap creativity and wisdom from higher sources.

Here’s the best news of all. You can be as successful as you wish. Each one of the skills are learnable. You can learn to think, act, behave and be like the most successful of the successful and in your own unique way. In fact the only way to be successful, is to be uniquely you. But the characteristics are teachable and learnable. It is not only possible, it is absolutely within your grasp to become as successful as you wish. How much do you want to have success, good health, wisdom and wealth? Are you willing to go the distance?

A gambler in a recent movie asked “Is you in or is you out?” Your choice is not a gamble. Your choice is another step closer to success. Choice is powerful. Make your choice.

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law of success,law of attraction,the secret

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Fully Charged?

Sunday, August 11th, 2019

“When you are fully charged, you get more done. You have better interactions. Your mind is sharp, and your body is strong. On days when you are fully charged you experience high levels of engagement and well-being. This charge carries forward, creating an upward cycle for those you care about.” Tom Rath, Are You Fully Charged. 

Please come watch Fully Charged movie with us August 22.

Being successful, healthy, happy, and wealthy is the life desire of many people. To gain those results, we put in years of behavior and activity. There’s a new science that looks at how people are doing on a daily basis. Within a given day, people are asked whether they have emotions of happiness, stress, enjoyment, and other experiences. We live our lives moment by moment. Daily well-being is a different kind of success, than measures of life satisfaction (raising your income, your wealth, etc).

When Gallup asked people about their daily experience in 138 countries, Paraguay was the country with the highest “positive experience” score. In fact, four of the top five countries on this daily well-being index were at the bottom of the wealthiest countries list. In contrast, when life satisfaction was measured in the past, the wealthiest countries were at the top of the well-being lists.

What this research proves is that you can have a satisfying life today that gives you meaning, and well-being and a charge of energy without having to be wealthy or live in a wealthy country. More importantly, most of us have more capability to make choices on a daily basis to create meaning and happiness.  You have instant results. You feel good today! That radiates out to the world around you, and the people you care about. Taking these small steps lead to small changes and overall life satisfaction. A triple win. These small changes can lead to the long term-outcomes that you want, while experiencing short term daily wins today. 

What are the thee keys to energizing your work and your life? This is answered in Rath’s book, and an amazing documentary. We are kicking off our first ever Restore Process movie night club by watching “Fully Charged” the movie on Thursday, August 22, 2019 at 8:00 pm Eastern, and 5:00 pm Pacific. It’s free.  Gather your snacks together and watch this wonderful documentary that can inspire you into living an even more amazing life.  

What are the thee keys to energizing your work and your life? This is answered in Rath’s book, and an amazing documentary. We are kicking off our first ever Restore Process movie night club by watching “Fully Charged” the movie on Thursday, August 22, 2019 at 8:00 pm Eastern, and 5:00 pm Pacific. It’s free.  You are invited to gather your snacks together and watch this wonderful documentary that can inspire you into living an even more amazing life.  You can sign up by clicking on Restore Process movie night club.

Visit our August Movie Night page for some fabulous snack recipes and to sign up to participate in our live discussion. If you can’t make it that night, you might want to at least read the book.

The three keys to a full charge for your day are meaning (benefiting another person), interactions (creating more positive than negative moments) and energy (making choices that improve your mental and physical health). You can create a lot more daily well-being in small steady steps. Read Are You Fully Charged ?

What others have said about the movie:

“Every minute of this film is inspirational. The people on whom the film focuses enjoy the benefits of good nutrition, exercise and sleep and are, therefore, fully charged. Many well known professors were interviewed to give their slant on what makes a good life. One fascinating research
project, presented by Nicholas Christakis of Yale demonstrates, by computer imaging, the fact that one person being nice to another or one person eating too much have much broader results than one would imagine. Similarly, the film touches on many lives, even on a beautiful garden on the edge of a highway and its creator.
I did love this film and will watch it often to get my charge.” Amazon Review by Jacqueline

“Fantastic documentary! Fully Charged is captivating, applicable and practical to any audience on how to live an energized healthy life. Throughout the moving it engages the viewer with powerful lifestyle habits that you want and can start right away, This movie is wonderfully written and directed – positive messages throughout and is truly inspiring to live a better life.” Amazon review by C & E Sanchez.

Come watch Fully Charged with us.

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Gifts for You

Friday, August 02nd, 2019

If you have been reading this blog for long you know I have spent years committed to helping others be successful. At the end of this entry are a few gifts that I hope you enjoy; a thank you for being a reader here at ofsuccesslaw.

Announcing

Dear reader, I am so excited to share with you my new venture over at RestoreProcess.com. We are creating a whole new way to inspire you and interact with you. One of my ofsuccesslaw readers has been collaborating with me to provide inspiration, support, education, coaching and to build a community around success and wellbeing.

Please go over to www.restoreprocess.com and check out the site, and have fun with it. We were all born originally with a self of unlimited potential. Somehow while we were growing up, we learned to close down aspects of ourselves. The Restore Process has been created to affirm that it is possible to return to that original state of being that we are born into. It is never too late to restore yourself to the fullness of your own being. Read more about it at Why Restore? My individual coaching and later web classes will be one venue for utilizing the Restore Process.

We were born to be creators, and our own life is our biggest creation. Most of us did not receive an operations manual, and we’ve been doing the best we can in this life. It is possible to really amp our efforts in many ways. An e-course I have created called Create Your Life: Your Treasure Map to Wellbeing is a structured approach to creating a map to your personal wellbeing and success.

Bingeworthy: Book Club and Movie Nights!

Nisha developed this fabulous page called BingeWorthy. We have a book club night, a movie club night, and a super reading list. She includes recipes for snacks and spritzers for our movie and book rendezvous. It’s just so fun. IT’S FREE! How cool! Want to join us reading a quick book full of inspiration and down to earth ideas for our first book club where we can read then gather to talk about it? Our first book club meeting night is August 28, 5:00pm Pacific Time. View our book selection and sign up here. Those snacks look heavenly, Nisha!

We have an amazing documentary to watch on August 22, our first ever movie night! Please don’t miss watching this movie, and then our discussion afterward at 5pm Pacific time. Fully Charged has been developed from the book Wellbeing by Tom Rath. It is inspiring and gives you wonderful ideas to implement in your life to help you be healthier and full of wellbeing. You will be surprised by how these ideas are being implemented in the military and in some companies to support good health and wellbeing. I can’t wait to hear what you think about this movie.

About Anna 

I have shared little with you about my background on this website. That is remedied on RestoreProcess.com in About Anna. It’s illuminating.

Blog? 

Of course?  How could I have any website without having a way to share with you what I learn and know? There are already four treasures over there just waiting to be read by you. One of them is critically important. Thresholds Guardians are met along one’s journey to success and wellbeing. Don’t miss reading this.

Free Gifts too!

For you success hounds 🙂 I have written two free resources. Success Portfolio is a fabulous tool to use whenever you interview, apply for financing, and so forth. The sense of confidence you build by creating such a binder is invaluable.

Introducing yourself is a critical moment in every new relationship. You can open the door to more depth by creating Elevator Speeches for your social encounters, a romantic partner, and of course your career. Please go and get these free gifts now!!!!!

That’s all for today – but that’s a whole lot. Spend some time over at Restoreprocess.com. Sign up for the movie night, and the book club and get your free gifts. Thank you for being a reader here on this blog. I will continue here, yes. But you do not want to miss what I will be doing there.

P.S. Technical hint for those like me who didn’t understand what hamburgers were doing on web pages. When you view web pages on your phone or tablet, or a small screen, the website collapses the top navigation menu bar into three horizontal bars in the top right corner of the screen. When you click on that “hamburger” of three bars, the navigation menu will show up. Also in my blog entries on this site, I usually make my links to somewhere else on the web open in a different browser page so that you can go back and forth, and not lose your place. In the sample picture below, there are three browser pages open. By clicking on those tabs, you can go back to where you were before.

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Happiness Before Success

Saturday, March 16th, 2019

Many of us chase Success in order to become happy and fulfilled. The formula that was taught by schools, parents, the company we work for, or society says ‘If you work hard, you will be successful and then you will be happy.’ Almost two decades of research indicates this isn’t true.

Putting on a happy face is not what we are talking about here. Happiness is “learning how to cultivate the mindset and behaviors that have been proven to fuel greater success and fulfillment. It is a work ethic.” (Shawn Achor in The Happiness Advantage) Imagine! Happiness being a work ethic!

Not only does being happy improve relationships, performance, your health, and enables you to live longer, but it causes success and achievement. You’ve heard of the flight or fight response. Positive Psychology research has found that happiness has an evolutionary contribution that is called “Broaden and Build” (instead of shrink, freeze or flee). When our mindset or mood is positive we are more motivated, more creative, smarter, and more successful.

Negative emotions narrow our options and actions. Positive emotions opens us up to possibilities, allows us to think more creatively, become more motivated, and open to new ideas. “They help us build more intellectual, social, and physical resources we can rely on in the future (Achor).” Not only can we think better, we can also see more!!!!! We can physically see more, process more visual stimulation, and actually expand our peripheral vision when we have a positive mindset, or a burst of positive emotion. This is powerful data! I’ve been saying on this blog that scarcity consciousness contracts and optimism and thriving helps us expand. Now data shows that it actually does exactly that.

A couple of examples. Students who were told to think of the happiest days of their lives just before an exam out performed those people who didn’t think positive thoughts. A study using experienced doctors looking at descriptions of symptoms were able to get to an accurate diagnosis twice as fast as the control group. The thing that made them happy? They were given a piece of candy for no reason (but did not eat it) just before starting their analysis.

Guess what else it does? Positive emotions help undo stress and anxiety! This allows us to improve our focus, and function at a higher ability. If you are needing to perform for example on a presentation thinking of successful times that you have already presented, or imagining your presentation going well, or watching a video that uplifts you or gives you a smile, will allow you to make a better presentation.

When we give ourselves quick positive boosts, we can function better in the moment. When we do this over time, we raise our baseline of happiness. What we want to do is develop a list of activities, thoughts that can give us a quick boost, or remember times that makes us smile. A short humorous video clip, listening to a favorite song, petting your dog, having a quick conversation with a friend, cleaning your bathroom or kitchen, are things you might do to lift your spirits and give yourself an enormous boost in performance.

Shawn Achor gives a list of suggested things to do which give us a quick boost of positive emotions which can help us change and lift our mindset. Over time, if we do this, we raise our happiness set point.

  1. Meditate
  2. Find Something to Look forward to. (Put something on your calendar that you can have the pleasure of anticipating.
  3. Commit Conscious Acts of Kindness (giving to friends and or strangers decreases stress and raises your mood)
  4. Put things in your surroundings that bring you pleasure – like pictures of family near your computer at work.
  5. Spending time outside improves your mood, improves working memory, and broadens your thinking.
  6. Perhaps watching less TV, especially violent media. Psychologists have found that people who watch less TV are more accurate judges of risks and rewards, because they are less likely to see sensationalized or one-sided sources of information.
  7. Exercise. One study show that 3 groups of depressed people were studied. One was given antidepressants, and the second group was asked to exercise 45 minutes 3 times a week, and the third was a combination of both. All 3 groups showed similar improvements after 4 months. After 6 months, of the medication alone group, 38% had relapsed back into depression. The exercise only group only had a relapse factor of 9%. Exercise any way you want, because it gives you a long lasting effect.
  8. Go to activities like concerts, group dinners out or spend money on someone else.
  9. Exercise a Signature Strength. We are all good at a number of things. Whenever we do the things that we are good at, we experience a boost of positivity. You can take a survey at www.viasurvey.org to find out what your top five strengths are. The 24 character strengths that are assessed are the ones most contributing to human flourishing.
  10. While Achor did not list this, two posts ago, I listed writing into your book of positive aspects as something to do at the beginning of each day. Today, I am amending that to make a list of recent things that have made your smile or feel really good. And keep adding to it, because when you are not happy, you will not remember these things.

My friend Nisha told me today that our brains are wired to loop again and again with a playlist of how to stay safe (from our survival training of watch out for bears, lions, and tigers, or falling off cliffs). Smiles, and positive thoughts don’t make that playlist. That is why we have to consciously choose to reach for better feeling thoughts and experiences. I am hunching that this is what Dr. Achor meant when he suggest happiness is a work ethic.

So I was feeling down when I started reading The Happiness Advantage, and was so refreshed to read about the research that shows how remarkably reaching for a better feeling thought, a better feeling experience helps us to be successful in our lives, in our relationships, in our work, in our performance, in our earning ability. Being conscious about where we are emotionally pays great dividends.

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Alignment with True Self

Tuesday, February 26th, 2019

Focusing on aligning my state of being with my deepest truest self has been most important to me these last two weeks.  One of the ways I do that is to listen to an inspirational uplifting message.   Today I was listening to a You Tube audio called Rampage in the Receptive Mode, published by Heaven on Earth.

I wrote down word for word what this spiritual guide suggested.

“If we were standing in your physical shoes, we would do these things every day.”  My intent was to bring into vibrational alignment my personal self and my truest self so that I would be in a state of being that is conducive to creating.  I have a category on this blog called State.  This is the description of that category.

Your state, state of mind, state of being, state of awareness, state of consciousness, is the single most important aspect to your success. If there is conflict in your state, your success is hindered. If you are aligned personal self and Source Self, you are unstoppable.”

Abraham went on to describe in the video I was watching the 4 steps they thought we physical humans would most benefit from, and I said “Aha”  I know these steps.  Am I doing them?

1. “We would meditate for 15 minutes every day.” Quietening the mind allows us to relax into the flow of being where we are aligned with the best and highest in ourselves.

2. “We would go outside no matter what the weather and we’d move around in it in an appreciation of this planet. We would look up and around and we would find things to acknowledge, and we would talk to them out loud.”

3. “We would create a notebook. We would call it my book of positive aspects. We would fill at least three, four, five is even better, pages of positives on five different subjects.  . . This is training your vibration into an upward place.”

4. “We would look upward and outward.  It would be best if you are standing outside or standing next to a window.  We would acknowledge that there are universal forces that are focused right at you.”  Abraham suggested that we call it by the name we  are comfortable.

What is your language for “God?”  I use such words as The Divine, Creator, Source, Universe, The Source that creates worlds.  But when I  am more contracted and smaller, I use the language that I learned in my church, which was God, or Jesus.  Abraham goes on to say something like the following.

Creative Source, “I acknowedge that I am the object of your positive attention and I am appreciating your continual gaze on behalf of my well-being. .. Today no matter where I am, no matter where I am going, no matter what I am doing and no matter who I am doing it with, I will be in conscious awareness that you too are there with me. “

Source, ” you are appreciating me

supporting me

assisting me

acknowledging me

inspiring me

guiding me

having fun with me

acknowledging me

supporting me

assisting me

inspiring me

helping me

guiding me

aware of me

loving me

showing me

inspiring me

guiding me

 uplifting me

showing me. . . . .”

Abraham suggests that we set up a continual loop of acknowledgement that might look like the above and suggests that we watch because as soon as even today, our life will begin to change.

Meditation is powerful.  I have written at least nine posts about Meditation.  There are many ways to meditate.  I’m writing a book about it and yet, I keep forgetting how important it is. I start the practice, and then get diverted by a health or emotional crisis, and then my ego kicks in and says, “it is hard to surrender to a higher power because I don’t want to lose my free will.”  What gobbledygook!

Going outside is so important.  In my blog entry  “Receptively Tuning In “I write about a meditative practice that I do sitting outside.  I can feel my whole being begin to soften, get into flow, become more alive as I walk out in nature, or sit out on my balcony and commune with the outside world.

Training ourselves to raise our vibration by writing about Positive Aspects is a powerful, powerful idea.  I usually journal and then write to my own inner guidance, but the idea of writing about the positive aspects of five different subjects is something I want to try.  In “Positivity, A Secret to Success” I wrote “Dr Fredrickson research indicates that we need a ratio of 3:1 positive feelings and experiences to thrive and flourish; to be the best version of you.”   I wrote in  “Strengths and Success”  “Everyone needs at least five positive interactions for every negative interaction. That is the magic ratio” which is suggested by Tom Rath and Donald Clifton in their book “How Full is Your Bucket.  I am looking forward to practicing this idea  by starting a positive aspects book.

I love the idea of acknowledging to Source that we know that it has us in its gaze, and doing the loop of acknowledgement.  Sounds very much like Prayer to me.  How very powerful. In “Vibration, the Law of Attraction and the Law of Success” I describe how Napoleon Hill, and Wallace Wattles both write about the secret of creating success and much of it was edited out of their work.  When we align our vibratory frequency with the greater reality of the intelligence of the Living God within ourselves, our best, truest self; we are unstoppable.  We can create anything that we can think of.

Let’s try these four ways of upping our frequency, getting into receptive mode, so that we can begin to manifest all the things that we have put into our vibrational escrow (which Abraham calls the Vortex).  Abraham says that what we have created is waiting for us to align with it, in order for them to show up physically in our lives.  I know its time.

 

 

 

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Success is Impacted by Adverse Childhood Experiences

Tuesday, January 29th, 2019

Donna had lost over 100 pounds two years ago but in the past six months she had put weight on again.  Dr. Felitti was concerned. Donna was 53 and had debilitating diabetes.  Here she was right back where she started.  While he was rattling off questions, he misspoke and instead of asking “how old were you when you became sexually active, he asked “How much did you weigh when you first became sexually active?” She answered forty pounds. “It was when I was four years old with my father.”

Why write to you about such a research program on this law of success blog? Because over the years, what I have found is that subconscious beliefs and patterns get in the way of success. Here is documented research that shows almost a causal relationship between childhood abuse and severe health challenges. How might this affect success behaviors? So lets hear more.

Patty had gone from 408 pounds to 132 pounds in fifty-one weeks.  What was so jaw dropping about these two people is that they dropped out of their weight loss program just as they were reaching their ideal weights. Patty had suddenly gained thirty eight pounds.  Her explanation was that she was sleep-eating, waking up to pots and dishes that were dirty that she could not remember utilizing. Why now? was Dr. Felitii question. An older work colleague was hitting on her.  “Patty had a lengthy history of incest at the hands of her grandfather starting when she was ten years old. This was when she had begun to struggle with her weight.” (Page 34).

After 186 patients, Dr. Felitti asked five other colleagues to screen their next hundred weight patients for a history of abuse.  They all turned up the same results; obese patients had some history of abuse.  It was this insight that led to a landmark research study by two physicians Dr. Vincent Felitti and Dr. Robert Anda called the “Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACE).  It’s purpose was to identify:

  1. The relationship between exposure to abuse and/or household dysfunction in childhood and adult health-risk behavior (alcoholism, smoking, severe obesity), and
  2. The relationship between exposure to abuse and/or household dysfunction in childhood and disease.

Between 1995 and 1997 these two doctors asked 26,000 Kaiser health-plan members in San Francisco to participate where adults were getting comprehensive medical evaluations that contained the information they were looking for.  An astounding 17,421 of these Kaiser health-plan members agreed to participate by completing a questionnaire.

Based on the prevalence of adversities they had seen in the obesity program, the two doctors sorted their definitions of abuse, neglect, and household dysfunction into ten specific categories of ACE’s” (adverse childhood experiences(p. 36).  They wanted to know the patient’s level of exposure before the age of 18.

  1. Emotional abuse
  2. Physical abuse
  3. Sexual abuse
  4. Physical neglect
  5. Emotional neglect
  6. Substance abuse in the household (e.g., living with an alcoholic  or a person with a substance-abuse problem)
  7. Mental illness in the household (e.g. living with someone who suffered from depression or mental illness or who had attempted suicide)
  8. Mother treated violently
  9. Divorce or parental separation
  10. Criminal behavior in household (e.g., a household member going to prison.      (p. 37)

Their findings from this huge group of people showed astonishing results.

  • 67% of the their subjects had at least one category of adverse childhood experiences (ACEs, p, 37).
  • 12.6 % had four or more categories of ACEs (adverse childhood experiences). (p. 37)
  • Having an ACE score of two or more doubles someone’s likelihood of developing an auto immune disease. (P. 41)
  • The higher a person’s ACEs (adverse childhood experience) score, the greater the risk to his or health.
    • a) A person with four or more ACEs was twice as likely to develop heart disease and cancer.
    • b) A person with four or more ACEs was three and a half times as likely to develop chronic obstructive pulmonary disease as a person with zero ACEs (adverse childhood experiences)(p. 41)

What was also mind-blowing was who this population was.  It was conducted in solidly middle-class San Diego.  70% of the people answering this questionnaire were Caucasion and 70 % of the group were college educated, and these patients of Kaiser had great health care!  These are not people you would expect to have childhood abuse. (p. 38)

If a person who answered these questions is exposed to adverse childhood experiences (ACEs) and avoids carefully smoking, drinking, physical inactivity, and obesity he or she can protect themselves from about 50 percent of the health risks. This is one of the most significant statistics of the study. No matter how clean they keep their health habits, they still have a 50 % increased health risk. These people are still much more likely to develop heart or liver disease. (p. 40) If that increase is that significant in heart disease, and diabetes, asthma or auto immune diseases which shows up in the body, imagine what this does to your self esteem, your confidence in yourself, and whether or not you are successful in your life.

Patty died at the age of 42 of pulmonary fibrosis, (an autoimmune disease). She put on weight and would lose it, eventually going through bariatric surgery.  Patty didn’t smoke nor had she been exposed to known toxins like asbestos.

The  author of this astonishing book called The Deepest Well, Healing the Long-Term Effects of Childhood Adversity is Nadine Burke Harris, M. D. This pediatrician was given her dream job of creating a clinic in San Francisco’s Bayview Hunter’s Point neighborhood areas where there had only been one pediatrician and to address the health disparities of the city. In this neighborhood the leading cause of death was violence. It was primarily an African American neighborhood, and she found that she was constantly trying to understand why her young patients  had asthma, or were in the smallest growth percentile.  But she didn’t find out about ACE’s  until 2008. “Everyday I witnessed tiny patients dealing with overwhelming trauma and stress and as a human being I was brought to my knees. As a doctor I got off those knees and began asking questions.”  She wrote this book.  She believes that ACEs (adverse childhood experiences) are at the root of a public health crisis in America and is also at the root of a public education crisis as well. I have written on this blog about my health challenges, and thought of writing a book called “Wellness, no matter what!”

No matter where you live or what group of people you are a  part of (Black, White, Immigrant, Native American, that there are bears that are populating the woods.  Poverty, Violence, Divorce, Addiction, Parental Illness, Depression are just a few. This leads to toxic stress which hurts body, soul and beliefs in self. How do we heal this toxic stress which she found in her research in her clinic, that led to a higher risk for

  • depression and anxiety
  • asthma
  • autoimmune diseases
  • food allergies
  • cardiac disease
  • chronic obstructive pulmonary disease
  • migraines
  • fibromyalgia
  • reflux disease
  • chronic bronchitis
  • stomach ulcers
  • learning problems  (ADHD )
  • stress management
  • self regulation

In her Appendix she gives the 10 part question that allows you to figure out your Adverse Childhood Experiences Score.  You can find out yourself what your own Adverse Childhood Score is by going to take the ACE QUIZ yourself at https://www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2015/03/02/387007941/take-the-ace-quiz-and-learn-what-it-does-and-doesnt-mean.

More needs to be written about this.  But for some of you who have not felt successful, no matter how much you have gone for the American dream, or self initiated, I found Dr. Burke’s book very riveting. This work gives us a glimpse into why we have blocks to success, or may not be able to be the biggest self we wish to be, or why we forget, or why we have challenging relationships, or why we may not be able to mobilize ourselves into taking the steps forward necessary for the laws of success.

 

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Transformation is happening

Wednesday, May 21st, 2014

“Keep these pearls coming at a faster pace,” someone wrote on my Journeying through the Gap post. I agree with the reader. I wished I had written more to all of you during this last year. I waded through a long, large gap. You can see it in my posts this last year if you look hard. But the breakthrough has finally happened.

Life is bigger than we know. Life gives us surprises along the way. While I trusted the process when I was down in the trenches, I couldn’t see the roadmarkers that I tell you to watch for in the long gap. It is only now on this side, that I understand more deeply. I was doing a meditative writing to communicate with my deepest wisdom last week, and this is what was told to me about this last year.

      You were incubating your new life this past year. The retreat, depression, resignation were all a part of withdrawing yourself from the life you had created to date, so that you could birth a new, brilliant, glistening, fulfilled life.

After a year in stall, suddenly out of nowhere, my roommate showed me a piece of paper that she had written all the things she felt toward a person who had dealt her a tremendous amount of harm. Then she showed me another piece of paper that she had written an hour later after going through a process in a course she was just beginning. I was shocked. The perspective changed so dramatically and how she felt had changed so radically that I was in awe. A couple of weeks later she did the exercise again, and she got to a whole new place, where she now sees that this person had in fact saved her life – which I know to be true, because I have been watching her for two years. While traumatic, she has been freed up to live her life in a whole new way, which I am sure will add many more years of living to her.

My attention was completed riveted. I wanted to know what process she used.  The latest brain research had been combined with EFT. Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) is a process that has been used in many ways. It asks you to tap certain places on your head and torso – which are places on the body that can help the body switch from worry, stress, and trauma, to a place of calm, releasing the emotional charge and reactivity that one has been feeling.

My roommate, my daughter and I have made vast changes. We each have shifted into more authority of ourselves. We are more confident. We are more genuine. We are more grounded into the essence of who we are. We are seeing our future in new ways. I have constantly been in shock as I watch myself, and these people I know deeply, walk and talk differently than I have ever seen.  We live in times where there are more and more energetic and transformative processes being delivered.

My daughter is between jobs. Her goal for the class was to clean up her prosperity consciousness. Today I was speaking with her. Where she would have been in deep anxiety two months ago, because the next job has not shown up, and her financial resources are limited; now, she is only concerned, but not in a panic attack. Huge difference.

My goal for the class was to re-energize my work life which had been in a stall for a year, and fill myself with well-being. Not only have I gotten re-energized about my work, but my vision for the future has completely changed.  I have been walking around in bliss, I have huge amounts of energy, and I have given notice to my roommate, and will be moving to a San Juan Island where I have always wanted to live, and starting a residential facility where people can come to me to study.

I had to energetically let go of the life that I had created that is very comfortable to me, in order to conceive of an incredible future. That was what the last year was about. My roommate is rooting for me all the way, and so is my daughter. This vision came because I chose to accept the invitation of a friend to go spend 3 days on an island I had not yet visited. I was in bliss while I was there. On the second day, my friend Cindy gave me a mug that said “Dwell in Possibilities.” And I did, reveling in the experience and thinking about what it might be like to live some of my dreams.

When I got home, my daughter said, “Mom, you have been dreaming of living out there for 20 years. You are single, you are renting, you have a source of income to rely on. What is to stop you from doing it in the next two years?”

Two years, heck. How about now!

So. There are many wonders to come into being, and you can come on the journey with me.

I can’t wait to see what unfolds for each of us.

∞ ∞ ∞ ∞ ∞ ∞

In the form below, write me about your goals in life, and your wishes, so I can keep them in my meditations with you.

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Caring and Consideration are important to Success

Monday, March 31st, 2014

Care and Consideration

Success and caring are an important team. Many of us in western cultures have not been taught how to care and be considerate. Caring and consideration is not niceness or pleasing other people. Caring means to consider someone else while you consider yourself and your own needs. It means that you must count yourself as important and you count others as well.

None of us accomplish success in a vacuum that does not include other people. No matter what, we live in a world that is peopled by others.

Caring for Ourselves

The paradox is that we have often not been taught to care for ourselves; therefore caring for others becomes secondary to us. We cannot truly care for other people unless we care for ourselves. There is a trend in the Law of Attraction field that talks about being selfish, putting your own needs first. It is my thought that we are instructed to be selfish – so that we learn to care for ourselves, determine what our needs and wants are and to go for them. But this does not mean to disregard others.

What it means, is that we have been socialized to devalue ourselves and not care for ourselves.  Because many of us have been trained to think that we don’t count, we are the walking wounded in the world. We walk around on empty and look for others fill up our tank. Others can’t fill us up. As adults we have to do this.

We do that first by caring for ourselves.  To care for ourselves means to come to know the unique individual that we are and cherish this individual we call “me.”

It is important to come to know yourself, acknowledge what you are thinking and feeling, and what your hopes and dreams are, and to move towards those dreams. To do so satisfies your basic need to create and be alive.

When you care about yourself and treat yourself as you would some you hold with special esteem, your inner tank begins to fill up, and then you have the capacity to see beyond “me.”

 

Caring for Others

We must never forget that we live in a field of energy, a field of all creation. That field holds many others: planets, plants, animals, water, forests, oceans, all forms of living things, and particularly people. Whatever we do or say has impact on everything around us. If you want to be successful, you must learn that you have impact on the world around you.

Hopefully, you will understand that caring about others and caring about your impact is vital to yourself.

Do you like it when others don’t consider you and your needs? Do you like it when others think of you as an object to move around on a chessboard to meet their objectives? How does it feel when you know that you are not seen as the total person you are, but the job you do as an employee? Does your dander arise when you are not respected? Do you get angry when others don’t want to hear your ideas, your opinions, and your thoughts? So it feels to others when we do not see them, listen and value them.

The “I Count, You Count, We Count” Equation

We are born in relationship to others. We humans cannot survive as infants without others to care for us. Somewhere in our growing up to adults, though, we forget that relationship is part of the human condition.

In a perfect world, we would know that “I count.” We would know that “you count.” We would also know that our relationship is its own entity and the “we count” is one way to acknowledge that. If I had known that early in my younger life, my first marriage would have been very different.  There is an I, there is a you and there is an ‘us’ or a ‘we.’

Basic considerateness is a way to demonstrate to a person that ‘I count’ and that ‘you count’ to them. It is a basic need we humans have. You want to count (to be respected, cared about) and I want to count. When we are treated with disrespect and uncaringly, we each tend to get mad or sad. The basic need to be respected for being a human being is very important.

Empty and full tanks

If we cared enough about ourselves, we would be full naturally, because we would respect ourselves and attend to our needs and wants in life. Because many of us don’t know how to care for ourselves, we don’t attend to ourselves; we don’t get enough sleep, really good food, time for play and pleasure, time with people we care about, laughter, learning and all the basics that attend to our body, mind, feelings, and spirit. Women especially are trained to say “I don’t count.”

So we tend to look to others to give us what we need. We want our bosses to appreciate us, reward us, we want our parent’s approval, we want our friends to love us, we want others to prepare our food and wash our clothes. We want our romantic partner to think that the sun rises and sets in us. We want our children to really appreciate everything we do for them.  In these scenarios we are not valuing ourselves. Our need is so great it is as though we want to become the center of everyone’s universe so that our needs get met.

If there was only one person in the universe, that might work.

Caring establishes a flow of energy.

Here’s the thing. Caring establishes a flow of energy to and from each of us. When we are on empty, the energy is only flowing one way, and most people around us get resentful. We are taking, and they are giving.

If everyone is the center of their own universe (which actually is a truth), and everyone is on emotional empty, needing everything from others, there is no natural flow. Look at how you light up when someone gives you a genuine caring smile and really sees you. You almost always give that smile back in return, and both of us are soothed, given to, and feel cared for.

Smiles are so powerful. One smile I received almost thirty years ago still gives to me whenever I think of it. It was a winter day in Minnesota, and I was rushing to an acupuncture appointment. In my haste, I stopped in the crosswalk. A mother and her young daughter had to walk out around the hood of my car. The wind was blowing strong, and I instantly felt deep shame. I was in a warm car. Those two were fighting the wind to move around the obstacle of my car. I just watched in dumb horror. The mother stared straight ahead. The young girl turned and looked directly into my eyes. When we connected, a smile with the wattage of the sun came over her face. She saw me. She blessed me with her smile. She cared that I was in pain. She forgave me for stopping in her path. Even now I want to weep from the grace that young girl bestowed upon me.  That is an example of caring. She saw me. I saw her. We connected even though we were strangers.

That is an example of the flow of energy between two people who see each other and choose to care. Each feels nourished and given to. We each have added juice to our battery.  That is the great gift of Caring. You cannot care without both giving and receiving. As we receive and give, our tanks get fuller and fuller.

Caring is a choice

Even in my shame that winter morning, I chose to look directly into that young girl’s eyes. The different color of our skin didn’t matter. The difference of our money didn’t matter. I only realize now, that I gave to her, because I chose to look deep into her eyes and see her, even though I was deeply ashamed that my inconsiderateness had made their walk just a little more difficult. All these years I had been thinking the giving was one way.

I had been studying with a spiritual teacher for years, and she emphasized that Caring is a choice. Caring is learnable.

It took me years of learning, and I still am only a beginner at caring. So I will tell you the carrot of this story.

Caring about the Others in your life is the most powerful thing you can do. It sets up a flow of energy that is restorative to you (and to them). It enlarges the capacity of your heart and people will be drawn to you. If you are like so many of us ‘walking wounded’, by caring about your impact on another, and really valuing them, seeing them, hearing them, acknowledging them, you will receive enormously, because you will have given enormously and people respond to givingness. Being in ‘take’ energy repels people away from you. Genuinely caring attracts people to you. People will be willing to help you and support you. People flourish when they are cared for.  So the tricky thing in this carrot, is that you will receive so much more by choosing to care and be considerate than you ever could by just only being interested in what you want, and the outcome you desire.

There is so much to learn about Giving and Receiving, Counting Self and Counting Others, our Impact on others, Caring and kindness.  We’ll consider those topics in the future.

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Intention and the Law of Success

Saturday, January 12th, 2013

Intention and the Law of Success are intricately related.  Intention sets the mode of how you interact in the world both your interior world and your exterior world.  When you connect with intent, you move into a more proactive way of thinking and being.  Intention gives you something to move towards.

When you live your life without a goal or an intention, you are in a more passive state of being, especially inside.  When you set an intent, it is as though you gather yourself and focus it towards what you intend. To be successful and cooperate with the Law of Success, you want to be moving in a direction of that which you want.

This may sound subtle, but it is very profound.  Let me tell you a story that recently happened but gave me a huge epiphany.  Two twenty somethings and two older adults sat together having a conversation about how to make a mobile phone operate.  Matthew said “What I don’t understand is why no one is willing to experiment by playing on their phone, nothing bad is going to happen if you press a picture or key.”

The two older adults looked at each other, and at the young couple and said with horror.  “We were trained not to play with things, we could mess it up.” A long conversation continued about the differences in the approaches of the two generations towards technology.  My generation is afraid to try in the event they may mess things up.  Those who grew up with it have fun, engage with curiosity, observe, and are never passive. They interact with it and watch what happens.  They learn, they experiment, they try something different. This is a very active process that they are engaged in.

They do not sit in their armchairs waiting for the how to instructions to fall in their lap. They ask questions of themselves like “I wonder what will happen if I do this. I wonder if my camera has this function, where would I go to look? I wonder what this little icon means, let me activate it and see what happens.”

This young couple are active. They have the intent of understanding the tools they are using, having fun with it, and having it serve them at full capacity.  My generation possibly has the intent of just getting the thing to act like a phone – a flawed intent at best, because phones are designed to be far more than phones these days.

The intent that one holds when learning to use one’s cell phone drives how the cell phone is used (or not used).

That is how important intent is.  It serves as an activator, an initiator of action.  When we engage with something, we mobilize the resources inside of ourselves, and the result is going to be success unless we give up. When you just keep going for the goal, you will get there, unless you give up.  My generation often gets tired, frustrated and gives up trying to make their phone work. They just do enough to get by.

This observation absolutely unnerved me, and has changed how I interact with my technology now.  I don’t want to just get by.

My intent is to be successful. To be successful, I must engage. I must set my rudder that will send me in a direction towards what I want. The Laws of Success demand that you engage.

Set an intention today. This is January of a new year. This year I intend to become more technically sufficient because it will bring me more success and help the people who read my work. What is your intent for this year? I also intend to develop more kindness and caring with people. I intend to make more money this year. I intend to add videos and audios to my website this year. I intend to give more to the people who come to this website by writing books, newsletters, and emails.

We are in new territory in our cultures. I intend to be the best I can be, to give the best of myself that I can, and to help usher in these new ways of being by helping people empower themselves and their lives. Every act counts.  What do you intend to do and have this year? Engage the Law of Success in your life by setting intentions.

I intend to finish my vision board this week.  I invite you to create a vision board as well.  My daughter is going to create a vision board on Pinterest so she will have all the images available on the web. I love that idea.

Find out how to do a Vision Board by clicking here.

Read other entries about Intention.
Burning Desires and Burning Goals access our Intention in a very concentrated form.

Mobilize yourself by setting an intention and move in the direction of what you want by engaging in the Law of Success. Best wishes for your success this year.

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Law of Success Vision Boards

Monday, December 31st, 2012

Law of Success uses Vision Boards as one way of bringing success into one’s life. Law of Success uses imagery and the impetus of all the energy that one spends to begin the manifestation process.

We have talked about a technique called 17 seconds as part of the activation of the Law of Success. When you begin to hold a thought for 17 seconds, alignment begins to occur. When you can hold that thought without any interruption for multiples of 17 seconds, the universe begins to line up with your thoughts.

Vision Boards are wonderful ways to implement the 17 second process and imagination and goal setting. Success loves to follow us when we put down on paper those things we want – especially with the use of images.

Vision Boards can include more than just tangible things. I almost never put things like a car or house on my vision board. That’s just too limiting. Last year my vision included the words “gather in community.” Seven months after I put that vision board together, I was living in a condo community that functions intentionally as community. I love it.

Last year my vision board included the word “Support.” I found a club where I share my talents, my expertise, and I have all the support I want and need for my publishing endeavors.

How to do Vision Boards:
a. Set an intention to create a vision board. Ask your highest self to help you create the coming year with purpose.
b. Reflect on what you want to add into your life. It might be qualities, like order, harmony, or skills like marketing and writing.
c. Gather magazines and printed material, glue sticks, scissors, and some kind of poster board. I often use a colored background.
d. Begin to browse through the magazines looking for pictures, headlines, words, that appeal to you. Just have fun and pull out pictures and words.
e. I might take a week or a month to gather my images and words.
f. Take a special time to review your clippings, and sort through which ones you want on your Vision Board. I like to have yellow and orange on my Vision Board, and I almost always include a picture of a Beach, because I love beaches.
g. Lay out your treasures on the colored poster board. Try to leave some blank space between your picture. Choose carefully what you want as a focus for the year, and put that in the center. Last year I had a picture from a conference brochure that talked about helping the world transform.
h. Allow this process to be a creative one where you don’t have all the control. Give the Universe space to work and work through and with you. I am always surprised with how my vision board looks when it is complete.
i. When the vision board feels complete to you, use the glue stick to adhere the pictures and words to the vision board.
j. Post your vision board somewhere to be seen on a regular basis. Last year, I took a picture of it with my phone and used it as a screen saver for my phone.
k. Hold thanks and appreciation as you are working on your vision board, and after it is completed.
l. Begin to hold the feelings of what it is like to have these new circumstances in your life. Enjoy the sensations of walking on the sandy beach, or feeling the sun on your face, or experience the new connections that are in your life. See them, feel them, smell them, taste them and savor them, way before they are actually here in your reality.
m. Talk to yourself in words such as “won’t it be wonderful to have more confidence in myself?” “My life is good and things work out for me.” “What shall I wear to the beach when I go?” “I’m savoring the closeness of eating breakfast on the deck with my partner, and walking hand in hand on the beach.” “I love the sparkle in his eyes when he looks at me.” “We are having such fun getting to know each other.”

You make the images so real in your mind that you taste them and feel them happening. Its fun to enjoy your imagination like that. Before you know it, your reality reflects your imagination. It is Law. The Law of Success and the Law of Attraction look to the images in your mind, heart and soul. to see what you want. So be careful to put images there that you want. One such way is to create a Vision Board. New Years’ Eve or New Year’s Day, or the whole beginning month of January are good times to creat such a vision board.

You might want to look at a couple of other entries to stoke your imagination.

Be Clear About What You Want: The Key to Vision Boards
Law of Success Vision Boards
New Year’s Resolutions and Vision Boards
Prosperity Success Secret of 17 Seconds
Intention

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