If there has been a focus in this blog during the last ten years, it has been “How can I live my life sublimely, in my greatest self, aligned and tuned in?  That is what I have concluded from my life experience. To be happy, to be full of well-being, to act in the world in an inspired way, to be successful, whole, healthy and wise; then there was a state of being that I aspired to.  I have spent an entire life trying to find the way to move out of my painful patterns of reaction, into a mode where I choose who I am, rather than be the Reaction to my Outward Environment.

Last night I remembered a beautiful moment in my life when that fullness of being, that connection with Life happened and it was magical.  I was 26 or so, attending a Sid Simon workshop on Values Clarification (which was really a personal growth workshop – but for me, it was spiritual). We continually affirmed each other.  We were constantly in pairs, looking into each other’s eyes for 2 minutes, answering the question that Sid asked us to speak about, and then with loving humor, we would feed back to that person something we absolutely adored about them (just from that 2 minute interaction).  It was profound for the young woman I was who was so starved for positive feedback.

On the last night (a Thursday) we had a talent show which lasted until 3:00 am. At 4:00 am we all loaded into cars and drove out to Miami Beach to watch the sun rise.

I think the sun rose for the  majestic first in my life metaphorically.  As I sat on my meditation bench, full from the experience with 40 – 50 people appreciating each other, I watched the sky lighten.  I was so full.  My heart soared. My spirit was peaceful.  As the sun began to sliver above the horizon, my soul began to sing. I moved into the most profound connection that I have ever experienced.  My cells sang with exuberant joy.  I was completely a part of all that is. I was the sky, I was the moon, I was the water, I was the sand. I was the wave, I was the ginormous awareness bigger than a personal self could ever be.  I wept with joy. I was called to celebrate this incredible beautiful experience we call life by dancing with arms raised into the water.

That time felt endless. There was no time. There was no space, there was only joyous communion.

There is so much more to this story.  Miraculous things happened which I will save for another time.

Today, I am sitting in a study, writing, looking out onto the beautiful world, just having returned from an incredible event in Nanaimo Canada called The Science and Spirituality Conference.  From Wednesday June 13 till Wednesday June 20, I travelled and soaked up the human wisdom that some people I greatly admire have generated from their life’s work; Gregg Braden, Dr. Joe Dispenza, Lynne McTaggart, Dr. Bruce Lipton, and Lee Carroll.  I feel today as I felt that gorgeous Friday morning in Miami. Truly blissful, connected to Oneness.

Together 1500 people along with the staff and the presenters, created a field of connection and possibility that has allowed me to feel like dancing with joy, as I did in the Atlantic waters. Now some 40 years+ I am bathing in the waters of my soul while living next to and visiting the waters of the Pacific.

I have aspired to a State of Being where my personal self is aligned with my Source Self.  I am feeling as though I have asked and asked and asked, and finally the universe has given me far more than I ever could have anticipated.

The three months leading up to the conference helped me anchor my intention.  It also allowed some deep processes that cleared the obstructions that kept me mired in reaction.  Unpleasant they were, but I embrace them so excitedly because they freed me to go to the conference free of expectation, free of trying to get what I needed, free from trying to take what I wanted out of desperation, and move to a state of appreciation of myself for going, appreciation for the staff for creating this miraculous event, and the appreciation of and wonder of that many people coming together of like mind.

I feel as though I have circled again into that state of bliss and oneness that led to miracles.  But the state of Being In Oneness is so compelling, that I am so happy to just be here in this moment, in this time, still connected to that incredible field of Quantum Possibility, the Divine, the Matrix, Source, none of which really names even closely what the experience is.

How powerful.  We are living in such wonderful times.  They can be uncomfortable, but such a huge state of shift is happening.  And we are a part of it. LIFE IS GOOD!

What an amazing journey life is!  I feel like I have spent all my life coming to this point in the here in now, where I finally can be the me that I came here to be.  I stand on the cusp of a fascinating birthday – one which I have faced in the past with quite a bit of trepidation.

Now, I am so excited to see what the next 30 or 40 years brings.  Thank you for joining this journey with me.

I’m better! How wonderful! I’m happy!! I’ve focused on a food plan for more than a year that has significantly reduced inflammation in my body( a version of the paleo plan). My colon is better. My lungs are much better.

Many, including my GI doctor, thought I was in major suffering because of my diet. It was not suffering. I had been so sick, that nothing was more important than feeling better again. No bowl of ice cream was tempting when I knew that my colon and my physical energy would take over a week to get back to normal.

It was a very simple choice to me. Do I go with a momentary pleasure for sugar, or do I have a whole week of feeling good? No doubt on that choice. I’ll take feeling good most of the time. I experimented from time to time, and every time, I would conclude: Nope, not worth feeling so sluggish that I can barely move for a week.

So that process I have gone through with my health came out of a deep desire to get well. Getting well was way more important than any thing else. Took being in bed for months to be willing to let go sugar in everything.

Took 3 years to make that decision. Once made, however, I had a focus that was unshakeable. The decisions out of that focus were easy. I also had help. The Universe provided a friend who was willing to take me under her wing and show me how to cook on the plan, how to not feel deprived of desserts, and alternative cooking compounds that would support my diet. Way wonderful. I was so grateful.

While I was focusing on getting well, I forgot about being happy. Things got heavy and ponderous. My body was in survival, and I knew it.

Finally, now, I am well enough that I want to recover feeling good emotionally most of the time. I want to hold the stability of well being no matter what is happening in the world, no matter how I feel, no matter how I respond to other people.

My success with my health gives me much confidence that I can begin to build a stable center inside of good feeling thoughts, so that I can tune into well-being and happiness.

It takes as much focus and commitment as the food plan did. Every morning now, I get up and do something that helps me tune into better feelings and thoughts. It’s like looking through a whole new pair of eyes. I will write a few entries on what I am doing, because it is pretty easy; once I made the decision that I was deeply committed to feeling emotionally well. Good to talk with you again. Be well.

Here’s a link to a you tube video I made about Centering, that you might enjoy. Identification Exercise

This has been a year of strong transitional movement. I know a lot of people who are challenged. As these waves of energy cascade, I have had strong reactions and sometimes felt at the mercy of forces beyond my control. Yet there are huge signs of transformation.

The Kiln

This has been a wild year, painful and intense, deeply fatiguing, and finally freeing. I have been terrified that 3 people I hold dear would die. And my sweet 33 year old Melissa did die. The brother to whom I am closest in age has had a heart that has been in flutter for over 16 months. He came to visit in June, and I was grateful to see him one more time.

My own health has been compromised as my two autoimmune disorders have flared and I can’t get them settled down.

Out of all the heat in the kiln of life, I find myself resolving to find a yet new way to live. While I have been saying that my health has been a top priority this last year, my actions have been to keep pushing me just a little further, to keep keeping on because I said I would do it, or I felt compelled to get that task done. I wasn’t always the driver of my own bus (one of my inner family or emotions was- click for more info). Sometimes impatience, and a need to get something accomplished drove my bus, not my more wise patient, compassionate self.

Have you noticed there are lots of people who are being challenged? When in a time where we have no control of the outside forces we can feel hopeless. Not so in charge of my inside forces these past months, it has been a time for me to stop.

The Fire

A sequence of circumstances brought me to a standstill. It took first intense anger to propel me to an inner place where I could allow the intense anger to morph into resolve. I was preparing for a colonoscopy (which I have done many times). They are not pleasant, but I had my tried and true method to get through the preparation. This time it didn’t work. This time my body had a violent reaction to the 12 hours forced cleansing. As I began recovering, I hit pure fury at the inhumane process.

But it turns out that what was inhumane, was my continual pushing my body to perform physical tasks far beyond its capability. So the fury I felt at the medical profession was a mirror to the fury that my body felt to being forced to be a slave to my will. In my imagination, my body was acting like a dog on a leash that finally laid down and would not walk any further because it had no more energy to give.

So no matter my outside commitments or my desires to do those things, I have had to stop.

Immediate Feedback

My body has such a state of depletion that it cannot restore itself. So it is giving me signals. If this doesn’t work for me, then I bleed. If I eat the wrong food, I bleed. If I get stressed, I bleed, if I get over-tired, I bleed. In real time, within the hour, my body gives me red feedback.

When I am this depleted, I am not really giving to others, when I do something that I said I would do. I don’t have the cushion of finess when I talk. I have been at a number of committee meeting, and as I would say my truth, it shaved off their skin as my words whistled by because what I saw and said was delivered with such intensity. That’s not a give to anyone.

So I am having to say no sometimes to things I think would give to me. I had to say no to going to a 4 day training that was two states away. Too much travel and too intense a schedule, my body could not do it. Last night at the last minute, I chose not to go to Chorus practice (I love singing) because I was too tired. When I signed up for chorus this season, I told myself I would just go when I felt really good, and wouldn’t go when I don’t, and if that means I don’t sing in the final concerts, then that’s what it means.

Phoenix Rising

But there is real transformation at work in this time for me. Because I am forced with instant feedback to see what helps and what does not help, I am able to make life changing choices.

I resolved changing the things I can. I resolve to eat on an Autoimmune Food Protocol. Some people put their diseases into remission and even heal themselves. I have the will power and the resolution to stay on that plan.

Eliminating stress is another thing I can change. How? I’m taking a sabbatical from things that create stress for me. I’m re-reading a book called “How We Choose to Be Happy – The 9 choices of Extremely Happy People-their secrets, their stories.” This is a way that “truly happy people make conscious decisions about how they will confront life’s challenges. In the face of sometimes overwhelming circumstances, they create happiness by making the same nine internally driven choices.”

Summary

So I have told you about my horrible, no good awful year 🙂 (like Alexander’s No good, horrible awful day – a delightful children’s book).

I’ve told you a basic response that came out of the pain, fatigue, and feeling powerlessness.

Fury came. Fury delivered the emotional energy that I could morph into resolve.

With it the decision arrived that I will be victim no more.

And a resolve so bone deep that it seared out all the hopelessness and despair and left complete resolve that I will live my life differently no matter what the circumstances. Now that is resolution I want you to know. And although my diseases are still active, I am happy. Bone Deep happy. And I intend to stay that way no matter what.

Other Related Posts

To Flow or Not to Flow That is the Question

Victim, Perpetrator, Rescuer or Empowered?

Life Flame and the Law of Success

Control Your Attention Secret Key # 11 to the Law of Success

What Two Ingredients Put you into Flow?

Transformation (includes The Gifts of Adversity)

These last three months, I have not been in Flow. Before I tell you about the two special ingredients of Flow, which I am so glad I remembered I want to tell you my journey.

My consciousness has been getting more alert and I feel I can see more. Some truly spectacular things have been happening for me, and yet it has been a very jerky ride. One day things are great. The next day, or moment, things are upside down again.

Usually, when I am in the flow, my life feels magical. Reality seems to actually become pliable. This life these last three months? Not so much. Yet I have made huge strides in clarity, self-confidence, boundaries, speaking my truth, and the most wonderful thing is that I have dropped a huge amount of reactivity. I am more authentic, powerful, and straightforward. And with this empowerment a few darker areas of my consciousness came to light.

These High Octane Times
Here’s what I’m thinking. We are in times when things are shifting big time. If you can stay tuned in, tapped in, turned on to life, your awareness will expand and you see multiple dimensions of possibility.

But making this shift is a challenge. Whatever is not alive and awake comes up and grabs you and says “Wake up!” It is not fun getting those wake up calls. But the potential is phenomenal and the energy is here for us to transform exponentially. The energy will propel us forward powerfully. Of course when we hit a snag, it feels like running into a tree when we have been going 100 miles an hour.

For a while in this high octane energy field, I got lost in some depression, some nostalgia during the holidays, and having poor health for at two months.

So what did I do? I read, relaxed, tried to get well, and worked my emotional process. I got somewhat lost in the feelings, though I trusted the process and knew it would lead me forward.

Remembering at Last
This morning I was inspired to relisten to a seven minute video Vishen Lahkiani, CEO of a personal growth company called MindValley. He reminded me of those essential ingredients to the state of flow and four states of mind in his video Flow, The Paradox of Intention and Four States of Mind. I thought you might enjoy his perspective.

Four States of Mind
Vishen identifies these four states of those people who are business owners and follow the Law of Attraction. Vishen has developed this concept over a couple of years and says the Flow is the 4th step. Here is a description of each state, and the name I call them.

1. Misery or Survival

You are completely unhappy right now –

2. Comfort of Current Reality.

You are happy, content, but you have no vision. ‘Let’s all hang out in Bliss.’ –

3. Stress and Anxiety

You have great dream and visions, but unhappy because they are not there yet –

4. Flow

When you are happy now, you have a vision and are happy with the journey –

While I was working my process, I had gotten lost in the Stress and Anxiety State of Mind. And sometimes that’s just natural. I was looking at a core pattern that I want to transform. This pattern has deep roots, has operated for my lifetime, and had a very dark piece that came into being to protect an innocent child.

This journey into Stress and Anxiety was an intentional act of courage to look at a core wound I have so that I can transmute this pattern and restore my connection with “Who I really Am.” I just got bogged down in the survival vibrations along the way.

Two Ingredients to Flow
So what are the two ingredients to restore myself to Flow? According to Vishen I need to:

Be happy now (before I reach my dream).

Have the vision of where I am headed.

So happiness is part of the journey not the destination. This balancing of happiness right in this moment, while aspiring for something we want or are dreaming about is something Esther Hicks calls The Gap in the Law of Attraction work.

Vishen is saying “Get rid of Stress and Anxiety while you are on the journey.” And that my friends are what we are called to do right now in these times. It is not always easy, but it is incredibly fulfilling. See Journeying Through the Gap.

Ways to Stay Happy
We need to put systems in place to help us be happy along the way. Here is Vishen’s list of practices to keep ourselves happy. I link to past blog entries that are my input on these practices.

1. Meditation.

Meditate into a New State of Being
Meditate. Why?

2. Guided Visualization –

Imagination and the Law of Success
Prosperity Secret of 17 Seconds.

3. Intention Setting. Esther Hicks calls this process Segment Intending. You can set an intention for this moment, this day, this year, or this particular segment of time – like when you pick up a phone call.

Setting Daily Intention
Prosperity Secrets to Create Your Day

4. Inspirational Readings or videos:

Inspirational Practices
Personalized Inspirational Quotes
Flow or Not to Flow, That is the Question

6. Gratitude

Gratitude Inspirational Quotes
Recognize Signs the Universe Delivers

Remembering and Forgetting
So now I am reminded that I just went down the emotional scale temporarily (even if part of it was on purpose), got lost in a survival state of mind. I ‘m reminded of the practices that I can take to restore my equilibrium. Here are some resources

Survival Thinking
Raise your Vibration and Go Up the Emotional Scale
Survival and Contracting
Dreams and Survival Thinking

Vision
Dare to Dream
Vision and the Law of Success

State
Understanding Your State
Shift Your State
Meditate to a New State
Journeying through the Gap

Happiness
Law of Success Strategies
The Secret to Optimism, Success, Positive Attitude, and Being Happy

Flow
To Flow or Not to Flow, That is the Question
Flowing or Bumping

Last month I worked on my Vision Board for 2015. So I am very clear about my vision this year. I just had forgotten to be happy along the way (even though it is on my Vision Board). I’m reminding myself about ways to go back to being happy. Counting my blessing always makes me feel better.

This journey of living and becoming more conscious is a constant growing and then rebalancing process and sometimes we forget along the way. It’s just natural. And now that I’ve finished this essay, I realize that I knew all this all the time – just as you do too. We’re just human beings doing the best we can. We are constantly Remembering and Forgetting.

The Secret to Optimism is You and Your Choice.

After years of reading and research, prayer and masterminding, owning businesses and working for someone else, I came to the conclusion that to really become extravagantly successful, I needed to learn to think differently; the secret to being happy, having optimism, and being successful.

Ask and It Is Given began another series of deep changes in my life. It was time, I thought. What did I have to lose? Might as well try thinking with optimism. A positive attitude and being happy would be the worst result. So I gave myself a time frame of one month, and then one year to try thinking with optimism and a positive attitude. Wonders! I became a happy person overnight. After constantly being accused of only looking at the hole instead of the dough-nut, this was simply a marvelous way to live. I had stumbled upon the Secret of Optimism. I only had to choose what I thought.

Setting Intent is the first step in the secret of optimism and creating a happy, successful life with positive attitude.

Deliberation about the Intent is also a part of the steps in the secret of optimism; becoming prosperous successful and happy. In this case I had deliberated for years of the pros and cons of developing the practice of thinking different. Being wealthy, successful, and deliriously happy attracted me. I could really commit to this process of thinking with optimism to create a positive attitude.

Commitment to that Intent is the third step in the secret of optimism and creating a positive attitude and a happy successful life.


Becoming Aware of my thoughts (Recognize them) is the next logical step in the secret of optimism, success, positive attitude, and happiness. Years of conscious building had helped. It is a little awkward and painful to watch one’s thoughts each minute and each hour. So much habit. So much focus on the negative. Uggh.

Acceptance of what you think without judgment is an imperative part in the in the secret of optimism, success, positive attitude and being happy. I developed ways to say, “Oh yes, there’s my cynic (judge) raising its head again. Well of course it would feel that way.”

Have a Happy Thought Stockpile. Choose a couple of events, dreams or wishes that you can think about in detail that make you feel good. When you are thinking a stream of negative thoughts, you just can’t stop thinking those same thoughts, so you must change your focus to something pleasant. A list of happy thoughts is a magical tool in the secret of optimism, success, positive attitude and being happy.

Shift your attention to something that fills you with joy and happiness; the next stage in the secret of optimism, success, positive attitude and being happy. I would practice on my way to work by looking at the world around me and finding something to be amazed at. Later I practiced imagining and detailing my favorite retirement dream of painting and writing. I always felt better. Finding things to be grateful for, was another way.

Choose the positive thought. The mind can be tricky. You can’t stop thinking negatively, worrying, or being in fear. But you can choose to turn your focus to something else. When you successfully shift your focus, make sure you appreciate yourself (later) for having chosen well. Appreciation of your success will serve in implementing the secret of optimism, success, positive attitude and being happy.

Savor the happy well being that comes from practicing the secret of optimism, success, positive attitude and being happy. I didn’t have much practice in savoring. It is so delicious to savor. It’s like being the dog riding with his head out the car window.


Repeat the Process time and again. Whenever you find yourself thinking another negative thought, reach for a better feeling thought from your Happy Stockpile. Repeating is a necessary tool in the secret of optimism, success, positive attitude and being happy.


Practice this process for 30 days and your will have made a habit of using the secret of optimism, success, positive attitude and being happy.

Here is more information about How to Become an Optimist.

Tomorrow, we will look at some specific thoughts to interrupt so you can better use the secret of optimism, success, positive attitude and being happy.

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